How suffocating is suppressive education? "Liang Shuang's father" is the same parent, hurting children in the name of love

time:2022-11-27 author:Diet
How suffocating is suppressive education? "Liang Shuang's father" is the same parent, hurting children in the name of love

China Youth Daily conducted a survey on 2,006 people aged 18 to 35. About 90.6% of them said that their parents had given them verbal repressive education. After the broadcast of "Twenty Do Not Confused 2", "Liang Shuang's Dad" became popular again. Compared with the previous "nag", Liang's Dad's "repressive education" in the second season was even more suffocating. When I was a student, I often heard a saying from teachers and parents: "Humbleness makes people progress, but pride makes people fall behind", in order to prevent children from becoming arrogant and easily complacent. Therefore, when educating their children, many parents, instead of praising them, keep suppressing their children, thinking that this can play a motivating role. In fact, most children are miserable in suppressive education.

How suffocating is "suppressive education"? Liang Shuang's father's education method caused controversy

The hit "Twenty Do Not Confused 2", the controversial Liang Shuang's father made many people angry. Every sentence seems to be educating, but every sentence is inseparable from suppression. He originally came to accompany Liang Shuang at home, but after seeing his daughter doing a live broadcast, he criticized and denied it everywhere. He first felt that Liang Shuang's attitude in selling goods was not good, and he should serve others with the attitude of "customer is God". Liang Shuang retorted that he couldn't use the past to talk about things, but his father criticized Liang Shuang for "floating". Facing his daughter's career and dreams, Liang's father asserted that if he had this attitude, he would change careers. Sooner or later, he would "fall down". Maybe Liang Shuang is a person who likes to talk back, but Liang's father's "repressive education" is also inappropriate. This is not only the plot effect of the TV series, but also in real life, many children are experiencing "suppression" education by their parents, even more serious than Liang Shuang's father.

Parents who use repressive education are less likely to get ideal educational outcomes

Although repressive education does not involve physical violence, it does By demeaning, sarcastic and denying the child, comparing the child with others, etc., causing harm to the child. In life, there are many parents of Liang Shuang's father's same style. How do children who grow up around them often feel? Parents carry out repressive education for their children, hoping to make their children humble and motivated by "language stimulation". Unexpectedly, excessive blows will bring huge psychological pressure to children, which is counterproductive. According to the survey, only about 11% of the people who became humble and not arrogant or impetuous in the repressive education of their parents, about 29.3% of the people who were alerted and pursued progress. It can be seen that the probability of parents finally getting the ideal education results is relatively low, and the rest of the people have suffered more or less "hurt" in their parents' repressive education.

Why does the "suppressive education" commonly used by parents make children feel suffocated?

Parents are sometimes really weird, they want their kids to be happy, but they like to throw cold water on their kids when they're happy. For example, after school, the child happily shared the joy with his parents with a 100-point test paper, but the parents said, "Don't be too early in Kaohsiung, you see xxx every time you take the test with 100 points". More than half of the children have become unconfident in the repressive education of their parents. Parents want to motivate their children, but when the children do nothing, they are not praised, and even their future is denied by their parents. Instead, they feel that they can do nothing. it is good. About 59.7% of the children are not confident in everything they do after experiencing repressive education. From study to work and life, they are afraid to try anything. Parents want to make their children work harder, but in exchange for their children's self-defeating. Children are often labeled by parents with an adjective. No matter whether it is good or bad, he will make self-impression management, so that his behavior is consistent with the description of the parents. This phenomenon is called the "label effect. Originally, the child worked very hard, but progressed slowly and achieved less, but was described as useless by the parents. Slowly, he will feel that whatever I do is wrong, how Efforts are not recognized by parents, and they simply live as they describe, becoming rebellious and self-defeating.

"Suppressive education", Unconsciously suppressing family relationships

Suppressive education not only exists among young children, but often lasts until the child graduates from college. A few parents spend their whole lives in suppressing education for their offspring. Parents are to educate their children, but they are Children who are oppressed often feel disliked and denied. From the beginning, they are disgusted and obedient, and gradually become disgusted, which indirectly affects the parent-child relationship. Liang Shuang and his father are a typical example. The more his father attacked Liang Shuang, The more Liang Shuang wanted to resist, the more he saw the child resist, the father hit him harder and harder. The father and daughter would not let each other lose both. There is another adjective for this kind of education method - knife mouth tofu heart. Even if many parents recognize their children in their hearts, they will I don't say compliments easily. But the truth is that correct compliment education is more effective than repressive education. Not only will children improve, but the family atmosphere and parent-child relationship will be better.

Replacing "suppressive education" with praise is more meaningful for children's growth

In real life, there are many parents who share Liang Shuang's father and can empathize with Liang Shuang Most of the people have been oppressed. Parents learn to praise correctly, not only they feel relieved, but also their children are more likely to accept them. When praising grades, focus on praising your attitude and paying for your child's good grades. Don't throw cold water, but you can't generalize Praise the child for being awesome and awesome. Instead, let the child know that the reward is earned through hard work. Praise the child's serious and hard work for this matter, down to the specific details. When praising creativity and ideas, clarify the pros and cons Children's thoughts are more imaginative than parents, and they usually think of some strange things, which are difficult to realize and even dangerous. Parents can't directly deny "it's wrong for you to think this way" and ridicule the child's brain "there is a problem", you might as well ask the child why Thinking of this idea, praise him for being good at thinking and researching. At the same time, discuss the pros and cons of his idea with the child to help the child think more deeply. It can not only help the child avoid danger and adverse effects, but will not dispel the child's sharing and sharing. Desire to create. Candy's mother said in her heart: In the child's heart, no matter how gorgeous the praise from outsiders is, it is not as good as the affirmation from the parents' heart. What kind of person do you want your child to be? Praise and guide him in that direction, not Continuing to suppress the irony. [Today's topic] Is there anyone around you? Are there any parents who like to "repressive education" for their children?
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