I.3.3 What are the real reasons behind young children lying?

time:2022-11-27 02:20:51source:monlittlebaby.com author:Fever
I.3.3 What are the real reasons behind young children lying?

In the traditional Chinese educational concept, it is a big problem for young children to lie! The so-called "stealing needles in a small hour and stealing gold in a big time" expresses this concern. However, psychological research has found that young children often confuse imagination with facts, expressing good wishes in their hearts as facts that have happened, so they unconsciously lie. This is often ignored by parents, who directly assume that the child is lying, scolding and reprimanding or saying a lot of big truths that the child still can't understand. But the result is often the opposite. In early childhood, it is easy to play everything, and next time it is more likely to tell a bigger lie, because that can challenge you. Children's thinking is in the process of gradually developing from concrete image thinking to abstract logical thinking, which is an inevitable stage of development and growth. For a child of this age, parents really don't have to worry, scolding and berating at every turn will strengthen the child's awareness, and the next time they panic and lie unconsciously again. Moreover, scolding and berating can easily damage the child's self-esteem and self-confidence, and suppress the child's independent growth, which is the most unsatisfactory situation. Therefore, when parents find that what their children say is quite different from the actual situation, there is no need to panic or anger to expose it, go up the line and scold, because it will bring the following two fatal internal injuries to the child: First, the child After being scolded and humiliated many times, before I was unable to sort out my personal imagination, guesses, wishes and facts in my mind, I deeply realized the benefits of speaking less and not speaking without pain. It may become introverted passive, taciturn, and even prone to passive withdrawal. The second is to block the path of children's conscious honesty and growth, and they cannot experience the benefits of honesty, which is not conducive to the cultivation of honesty. Parents must understand that scolding, beating and scolding at every turn will deprive the child of room for growth, "imprison" the child in a narrow and cramped channel, and easily lead to obstacles in parent-child communication. What is lying? Is telling the truth a lie? If so, then in the eyes of the child, the parents are lying every day. For example, your family is a guest at a relative's house, and the host is very enthusiastic to keep you for dinner. You push it a lot, saying that you want to go back to the company to work overtime for a meeting, but in the end you still can’t push it, then sit down and eat. The host will serve you delicious steamed grouper, and ask if it is delicious, and you keep saying it is delicious. But the child who has been following you knows very well that you told two lies in a short period of time: the first is that before coming to the relative's house, you clearly promised the child to go to the bookstore after going to the relative's house, instead of going back to the company to work overtime meeting. The second is that you never eat steamed seafood because you can't stand the fishy smell. But the grown-ups know that what you say is the most normal politeness, and it is not a lie at all! Poor children can't tell the difference. The younger they are, the more they can't tell the difference. Kindergarten children often take their imaginations as real things that have happened. Parents are always unavoidable to say some untrue polite words occasionally. Children think that it is a form of discourse that can be used at will. When abused, it becomes no matter what it is, as long as you want to achieve your own goals. Make up a reason. This situation is likely to be an important reason for children to lie. In families where parent-child communication is not smooth, children may still have a subconscious, and there is no better way to influence their parents without lying. Over time, children will gradually develop a habit, or habitual thinking: to make up some grandiose reasons in order to achieve their goals. Therefore, when parents say untrue polite words in front of their children on certain occasions, they have to find a suitable opportunity to explain them to their children afterwards, and even need to repeatedly explain the difference between polite words and lying on different occasions. Children can gradually understand as they grow up. When parents find out that their children are "lying", they might as well assume that the children are telling their own imagination, and simply "play the game": follow the children's imagination to "play dialogue games", and use their own adult wisdom to "take" the children's the truth. Then educate children through fables or fairy tales. You can also seize the opportunity to praise children for telling the truth, so that children can feel the benefits of honesty. As long as children can grow up normally, it is not easy to develop the bad habit of lying, and gradually they will develop the habit of sincerely expressing their wishes and exchanging opinions. The traditional methods of raising children by Chinese people, especially the concept of high-pressure and scolding, and the concept of not being a good person, need to keep pace with the times. It is best to create a relaxed atmosphere in the home where children are encouraged to speak up. The more positive care parents can give their children, the more confident they will be and the more candid they will be with others, thus greatly reducing the need and space for lying. People go to high places and water flows to low places. It is human nature to expect to be respected by others. When watching movies and newspapers and talking about current affairs, parents can consciously add some comments to promote how honest and responsible people are respected and supported by the society. It can also be said that an integrity monitoring system has been established all over the country, and people with credit problems will encounter a lot of trouble in work and life. In daily life, parents should patiently and continuously instill in their children bit by bit, in order to prevent their children from developing the bad habit of lying. After the child grows up to the high school, many concepts of daily society are gradually established, and the three views are gradually formed. If parents "suddenly" discover that their child's lying problem is serious, they should realize that their child may have developed a "habit", and to change this habit, we must explore the root cause and take targeted measures. Any major problems that occur in children of this age must first be found in the parents. Is it not handled well in a certain part of the child's growth process? Is there anything that can be done to remedy this? How can we let children develop good habits and grow into promising people? These are all questions that parents should seriously consider. (Tip: There are more professional and practical parenting knowledge in the "Collections", pay attention to this account to receive the latest information)
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