Understanding children and letting go of themselves is the basic way to resolve parent-child conflicts

time:2022-12-09 09:53:15source:monlittlebaby.com author:Baby care
Understanding children and letting go of themselves is the basic way to resolve parent-child conflicts

The picture comes from the Internet recently, and the children in the neighbors look sad. Walking is also a dejected look, and greeting us is also a feeble perfunctory. I basically watched this kid grow up. Although I say he is a kid, in fact, he has already gone to high school. But in my heart, he is still the little baby who started hobbling, the little boy who babbled and learned to talk with me, the kid who was excited about going to elementary school, or the little boy who started to blush at the pretty girl ... I am very familiar with the consistent sunshine and vigor in his character, so I really don't see him like this. A cup of milk tea, a cup of coffee, after I reached a consensus with his parents, I took advantage of the holiday to find a reason to take him to Starbucks to sit and chat casually. The child cried and said, "Auntie, I'm really sad right now." I took a sip of coffee and looked at him. He scratched his head in annoyance and took a sip of milk tea like I did: "My mother must have told you that I was in early love! Actually not!" I nodded and looked at him. He paused, took another sip of the milk tea, and began to be in a daze. I looked at him in a daze, didn't speak, and continued to sip my coffee. The child sat for a while, cleared his throat, and said again: "Auntie, I'm under a lot of pressure right now, and I don't know what to do. I feel very uncomfortable." I tried to ask: "I'm worried about my grades and the college entrance examination. right?" He nodded. The child is an obedient, sensible and good child. His pressure comes from his parents' expectations of him being too high, and the meticulous care of his life. The child has been worried, what should he do if he fails to meet his parents' expectations? What if the parents are so sad? In fact, this is the commonality of many children today. They seem more and more numb, more and more indifferent, more and more unreasonable, however, the parents have never thought that the children are becoming more and more lonely. Because parents have too high expectations for them, and there is no way to do it, they just blindly ask for grades, but indulge in life, especially in many cases, they would rather suffer some grievances in their own lives, and the whole family must only provide for the children. His life is the main thing. What this brings to the child is no longer love, but pressure. If parents talk about it, they are: "Son, you have to study hard, and don't think about or do anything else. Only if you get into a good university, have a good job, and support yourself, your parents will die." However, a child is a living person, with his own emotions, his own emotions, and his own thoughts. How can he truly “do not hear what’s going on outside the window, and concentrate on studying the books of sages?” It is the sage who does this, not the normal child! The most cruel thing here is that parents put their own happiness value over their children. Only when the children are healed can they be happy and die. In other words, if the child is not good, then he will die without resting his eyes? How much pressure and burden this will bring to children! Moving forward with a heavy load, the road is long and difficult! In fact, we bring our children into this world, not by the children's initiative, but by the parents' single choice. isn't it? Why should you put your own happiness above your children? Children's academic pressure is only obvious, and the invisible thing is that they have to face unruly, anxious and introverted parents all day long, causing their mental pressure. Only children who have no ideological burdens and burdens can travel lightly and move forward leisurely. isn't it? In addition, under the careful training of parents, today's children are well-informed, knowledgeable, and understanding of things more and more deeply, covering a wide range of subjects. This is a great progress in society, and it is also a height that parents could not reach when they were young. If parents blindly use old methods and old traditions to demand their children, it will really make the children not listen. I remember that some time ago, the children took online classes and geography classes. The teacher talked about the Nordic countries. Several of the children in the class had the experience of traveling or sojourning. To be honest, they knew more than the teacher. It is inevitable to talk freely in class, but the teacher accepts it, and quietly listens to a few children gossip. On the other hand, the parents began to reprimand them, and a mother's sharp voice could be clearly heard: "You know everything, why are you still in class? Listen carefully to the class, and don't talk!" The children's voices stopped abruptly. Later, according to my child, I never heard that child speak again. Some pity! Some time ago, I brought an intern, and the beautiful 2000-year-old girl said to me, "Can I ask the company to directly discount the five insurances and one housing fund to me instead of paying the five insurances and one housing fund." I was very surprised, she continued Without grudges, he said, "I don't even know if I can live to receive a pension!" These are the children of today, who are not afraid of death, but are afraid of living a hard life. They are flexible but vulnerable, they are hopeful but not wanting, they want to be understood but cannot be understood. They often show their parents what they want to show or what their parents want, not what they really are. This is terrible! So I thought, can we change the angle, parents are a little better to themselves, and let the children live a little easier? #autumn life punching season#
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