The second child is open for 6 years: two parenting methods are harmful to children, and many parents still do not realize it

time:2022-12-09 author:Baby care
The second child is open for 6 years: two parenting methods are harmful to children, and many parents still do not realize it

Introduction: Since the opening of the two-child policy, many families have already had two children, and some families have begun to prepare for a second child. Two-child families have gradually become the norm. There is no doubt that one more child adds more happiness and warmth to the family, and at the same time, it is undeniable that it also adds a responsibility to the parents. It has also become a common phenomenon for two children in a second-child family to "love and kill each other". They live in the same family environment and enjoy the love and energy of the same pair of parents. Two children from the same family grew up together, but such brothers and sisters, whose blood is thicker than water, may live in "heaven and earth" a few years later. "Rich Brother Poor Brother" is a British documentary. It tells about the completely different life experiences of a pair of brothers. The elder brother Isa is one year older than the younger brother David. Their father is a policeman, and their mother works in a bank. They are considered middle-class families. However, their development in adulthood is quite different. The older brother is a rich man and is well-known in the UK. His residence is a four-storey townhouse with luxurious holiday apartments and a 13th-century old mansion. His younger brother, David, lived in a dire situation. He had no wife, no children, or even a regular job, and lived in an abandoned RV. There is such a big gap between the two brothers in the same family. If it wasn't for the fact that at the end of the show, they and the director were brothers, it would be difficult for everyone to link these two people of completely different classes together. The living environment is the same since childhood, and there is not much difference in the cost of food and clothing, and even the schools they enter are the same. There are big differences, which have a lot to do with the parenting style and the expectations of each child.

Unloved children are lonely even after success

When brothers Isha and David were children, their parents encouraged their brother To be self-reliant, when I was very young, Isha made money to support the family, delivered newspapers, helped others mow the lawn, walked the dog, and lived a busy life every day. The younger brother David is doing nothing every day and is spoiled by his parents as a baby, for fear of not taking good care of him. Maybe it was because he was too busy and empty in his heart. David started smoking at a very young age. As he got older, he was exposed to drugs and had many bad habits. He didn’t study hard and did not get into university. My brother has experienced the tempering of life since he was a child. In addition to working to make money every day, he is studying. He worked hard to get into the university. After graduation, he worked first, from small business to investment projects, and became a rich man. He lives in a mansion and exchanges celebrities, but it can be seen from the show that although the success of his career and the richness of his life still cannot make up for the loneliness and loneliness in his heart. Isha is gay, and his wife and children are only fulfilling their nominal support obligations to him. He admits that this character is due to the eccentricity of his parents when he was a child. He wakes up early every day to work and earn money, but his younger brother is loved by his parents. He is jealous from the bottom of his heart, so he always wants to succeed through hard work and gain the attention and love of his parents. Isha said that the desire for a stable love is the driving force for his success. . Children who are not favored will be lonely even if they are successful, because they lack stable love and lack of inner security.

Pampered children do not know how to be grateful, so it is difficult to achieve something

Compared to his brother, David had a very happy childhood, he did not need to be like his brother Running around to work and earn money, but being cared for by his parents, he lives a carefree life with meals, clothes, and hands. I have nothing to do every day, destroy public property everywhere, smoke and read pornographic books, I have never endured hardship since I was a child, I have no patience in doing things, and I have no education and can not find a job. The adult younger brother has no whereabouts in life, and the older brother has helped him many times, but in return, he is not grateful but blamed. Although he is in his 40s, he still cannot be independent, and he just asks for things without knowing how to fight. Isha's achievements did not come from the help or property of his parents, but from the fact that he was neglected since he was a child and learned that he needs to rely on his own efforts to obtain the life and attention he wants. His success boosted his self-confidence and made him work harder, eventually entering the upper class and living the life of a successful person with no worries about food and clothing. Look at my younger brother David, who has been doted on by his parents since he was a child, and has formed a habit of dependence and demand. He does not know how to work hard for what he wants, and only expects to get it from others. Because he has been favored all the time, he thinks that what others give is deserved, and he does not know how to be grateful. Once others cannot meet his needs, he complains that his fate is unfair. I have never endured hardships since I was a child, and I don't know how to work hard. Although I had a happy childhood, I entered the lower-level society as an adult.

Non-pampering is the best way of parenting

The difference between the two brothers in "Rich Brother Poor Brother" is very different from the way their parents raised them when they were young In real life, many families also have such a phenomenon. Especially now that the second child is open, parents all want to have a bowl of water, but it is inevitable that there will be a phenomenon of favoring one over the other, more or less there is a preference for a certain child. As the big treasure in the family, he has enjoyed the love of his parents for many years. Suddenly, a younger brother or sister is added to share his parents' love and his own life. Dabao has changed from the focus of the family to now that his parents are busy taking care of the second treasure and are neglected and neglected. There is conflict in his heart, and it is inevitable that he is hostile to Erbao. And the young Erbao relies on his parents instinctively. Most of the parents have big ideas and want to let the little ones pay more attention to Erbao. There is a gap in Dabao's heart. In a family with two children, parents should not favor or spoil them, and that is the best way of parenting for the two babies. 1. Every child is irreplaceable No matter whether it is a big treasure or a second treasure, parents should let their children understand that everyone is irreplaceable, unique in the hearts of parents, and there is no comparison between the two. The love for the two children should also be balanced, not favored because Dabao has been together for a few years, nor doted because Erbao is young. 2. Pay attention to children's emotions. Parents should pay more attention to the emotions of two children. Don't make a child feel neglected and insecure because of inadvertent behavior. When they find emotional fluctuations, they should be relieved in time to avoid greater harm. 3. Parents should always reflect. Parents should always reflect on whether a certain thing or a certain sentence has neglected a certain baby, and try to let the two children get the comprehensive care of their parents, so that they can feel loved and valued. Conclusion: When a child is a child, he can be the focus of the family. Once there are brothers and sisters in the family, the love of parents will be balanced on each child. In a family with multiple children, it is necessary to keep brothers and sisters living in harmony , the family is stable and happy, parents should pay attention to parenting methods from childhood. There is no absolute balance in love, and each child is an independent individual. Parents do not favor or spoil any one, so that they feel safe and know how to love and support each other. This is the most successful way of parenting. (The picture in this article comes from the Internet, if there is any infringement, please contact to delete it)
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