Wu Zhihong: "In China, if you want to be emperor, all you need to do is have a child"

time:2022-12-09 10:16:04source:monlittlebaby.com author:Common phenomenon
Wu Zhihong: "In China, if you want to be emperor, all you need to do is have a child"

At the entrance of the alley, I saw a woman riding an electric bike with two children in tandem. Putting aside how dangerous this way of carrying people is, the woman's next behavior made me reflect. "Don't move, move again and throw you down!" The decibel of the woman was high enough to make people 10 meters away, want to turn their heads and watch what happened? Turning his head to look, the little boy was squatting in front of the electric car with a confused look on his face. From the appearance, it can be speculated that the boy moved a little when the woman was about to set off, which aroused the anger of his mother. When passing by me, I could hear the boy's aggrieved cry and the woman's repeated questioning. At that moment, I suddenly felt that the adults who lost their temper at any time, regardless of the occasion, were really scary.

Because you are my child

Once I watched "Round Table School", a word from psychologist Wu Zhihong made me Very impressed. He said: "In China, if you want to be emperor, you just have to have a child." You taste, you taste this sentence carefully, how ironic. In ancient times, the emperor was a one-word hall above ten thousand people. As long as he says something, almost no one dares to refute it, and that's what our Chinese parents are like. In their view, children are born by themselves, they belong to them, and they must be obedient. Some time ago, Yang Chuce, who was hotly debated for the domestic violence Yu Xiuhua, slapped himself in front of the camera. After that, Yu Xiuhua disappeared in front of everyone, but Yang Chuce kept bouncing around, threatening to restore a real Yang Chuce. It turned out that there were many mistakes, and it was revealed that in addition to domestic violence Yu Xiuhua, he often beat his daughter. The girl said, "As long as you do something wrong, your father will beat him to death. The scar on his thigh is from his father." Why did Yang Chuce even beat his own daughter so hard? It is nothing more than thinking that this is his child, and beating and scolding is the consequence of disobedience, and the child must bear it! Fortunately, Yu Xiuhua has left this "ugly" domestic abuser, but her daughter has to continue to be his child. It is impossible to know what the girl will do in the future, but the picture of being beaten by her father will sting her for the rest of her life!

Why should children bear the bad temper of adults

"Why should children bear the bad temper of adults?" "Because you are my child!" Chinese-style family It is such an unequal relationship that causes the child's heart to suffer. The aunt is a moody character, which caused the cousin to be cautious since she was a child. She needs to look at her aunt's face to judge whether this sentence can be said or not. If it is wrong, it is very likely that the aunt will provoke a "drama" of crying and scolding. Does the aunt not love the cousin? No, she loves her daughter very much and wants to protect her well. But her way of protection is to make her cousin obedient, thinking that nothing will go wrong. If the cousin doesn't do what the aunt says, she will have to bear the bad mood of the aunt. It is precisely because of a moody mother like my aunt, that my cousin has not dared to get involved in marriage until now. She does not want to become a mother herself, nor does she want her child to become a second self. Professor Qian Wenzhong of Fudan University said: 90% of the children who are loyal and trustworthy, filial and disciplined will suffer in society. Parents educate their children in the way they think is right, but don’t think that it’s just their experience, and it doesn’t mean that the child will encounter the same problem, or whether it is appropriate to use the parent’s experience when encountering the same problem. Therefore, as a parent, you shouldn't use "you are my child" as a reason to let your child suffer those bad emotions for no reason.

Respect the child, not just talk.

Some people say: as a parent, you should respect the child as an independent individual. What is an independent individual? That is, he is your child, but not yours. Gibran wrote in "To Children": Your children are not actually your children. They are children born from the desire of life for itself. They came to this world through you, but not because of you. They are by your side, but they don't belong to you... If all parents could understand the meaning of these words, there would probably not be parents who would lose their temper anytime, anywhere, and innocent children. How to respect children, it is recommended that parents try to do the following three points. First of all, give children free space to grow. The kind of family that always makes children suffer from the bad temper of their parents must have a depressing atmosphere, which is contrary to the healthy environment that children need to grow up. Education expert Sun Ruixue pointed out in "Love and Freedom": "The responsibility of parents is to provide children with a safe environment. As for how to explore the world, that is the child's freedom." Children who grow up in an environment of love and freedom can only It can be called a true "independent individual". Such children must be healthy and positive. Secondly, when encountering problems with children, be calm first. Whether it is the mother at the beginning, Yang Chuce, or the aunt, they all have one thing in common. When their children make mistakes or have some problems, their handling methods are irritable and not calm enough. This is a problem with many parents, it may be you or someone around you. In fact, in the process of anger, it oppresses the development of the child's "free personality". It’s understandable to fear that your child is in danger or to stop your child from making a mistake and throwing a tantrum, but it’s better if you can keep your cool before deciding how to communicate with your child. When you feel like throwing a tantrum at your child, calm yourself down first. For example, if you choose the four-corner breathing method, you can choose something with a frame in any place, and then start from the upper left corner, take a deep breath and count to 4 - then go to the upper right corner - lower right corner - lower left corner, and count each corner silently. For 4 seconds, tell yourself to relax. Wait until your mind is calm enough to deal with your child's problems. Finally, establish reasonable rules. Children are bound to make mistakes, not just children, but everyone. But just because they are young and their own children, just when they are in a bad mood, they should not lose their temper at will. In some public places, if you are afraid that your child will not follow the rules or be in danger due to the rules, you can establish reasonable rules with your child in advance. When the rules are proficient, children will naturally follow them, which will save parents a lot of trouble. Tips: But don't teach children rules, you must make children obedient! Children who are too obedient will definitely suffer in today's society! Respecting children is not just words, but deeds. A child is born because of love, but he is not an accessory of anyone, and he is not obliged to bear the bad temper of his parents! Conclusion: There are always people who like to use filial piety as an excuse to "govern" children. I once heard a teacher say: "If you want to be filial to your parents, you must first be obedient, and only obedience is filial piety." Looking at it now, it really doesn't make sense at all. (The picture in this article comes from the Internet, if there is any infringement, please contact to delete it)
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