7 "keys" for cultivating parents' ability, parents learn early and harvest early

time:2022-11-27 05:36:50source:monlittlebaby.com author:Common phenomenon
7 "keys" for cultivating parents' ability, parents learn early and harvest early

Key 1: Be a Purposeful Parent

"Parents love their children, and they are far-reaching." Raising children requires a long-term view. High-efficiency parents can focus on long-term goals: "what kind of person to raise", "what qualities do you want your children to have when they become adults", "what kind of relationship do you want to maintain with your children", and use goals to adjust their thinking and guide their own behavior. Actions will also encourage children to make their own voices and make their own choices in daily communication with children.

Second Key: Seeing the Needs Behind Behavior

The average parent sees the child’s behavior, and the parent is empowered , to see the needs behind children's behavior. For example, the child is crying, the baby may be hungry and urinating, the kindergarten child may want the attention, and it is more likely that he finds that only in this way can you "see" him. When children are noisy, disobedient, and troublesome, we need to see their needs the most. At the same time, parents also need to be aware of their own needs, take responsibility for their own feelings and needs, and avoid "taking anger". With awareness, we can better find ways to meet needs and change behaviors in a better way.

The third key: building a sense of security, trust, belonging

Safety is not just physical invulnerability, emotional Safety, trust and belonging are more important to the growth of children. Children need to use their parents to determine that they are welcome and valuable. Our task is to learn to see things from the child's point of view, and strive to create a home full of security, trust, and belonging, especially when the child refuses our requests.

The fourth key: accepting gifts from children, motivating children to give

Gifts do not mean "buy, buy, buy", hug, Hand in hand, happy time, the most precious gift is free. Children are the most willing to give these gifts, and what we need to do is to inspire children to give and give with an attitude of gratitude. Further, we can also learn how to love and enjoy life more from the gifts of children.

Key 5: Learn to use nonviolent expressions

Nonviolent communication, which is likened to "giraffe language" here , it helps us discover what to focus on. Giving non-judgmental observations, connecting feelings and needs, making achievable requests. For us, doing so is tantamount to learning a new language, which requires constant study and practice to master. But even a little change can lead to better outcomes in our relationship with our children.

The sixth key: learning as you grow

If we know that any problems encountered in the process of parenting, finally If you can solve it, do you have more confidence in yourself and less anxiety? "Growing up with children" is not just a slogan, but requires us to cooperate with children to solve problems encountered in growth together. There is not only one way to deal with each problem, just like learning, you can choose to take classes on campus, you can choose online courses, read books, talk to professionals, and so on. Effective problem-solving methods are worth celebrating, which is the node of our growth; ineffective methods are also worth recording, because it gives us more experience, we are not afraid of mistakes, and the scary thing is that we do not learn anything from mistakes.

Key Seven: Make the Home a "No Error Zone"

"You're right, I'm right, need It's only our way that adjusts", with this idea in mind, to create a "no-fault zone" full of respect and cooperation. Many people have misunderstood the phrase "home is not the place to be reasonable", thinking that in the family we can only "get along with mud" and "hard to get confused", but in fact, we can have a better choice: to understand the good behavior behind others' behavior. Motivation; believing that your own and your child’s needs are being met; paying attention to feelings and needs in a respectful way, not one-way criticism, blame, or punishment. We and our children should be comrades-in-arms who cooperate side by side, but many times, the wrong way makes us stand on opposite sides, and the family becomes a "battlefield" for power struggles, right and wrong arguments between us and our children, "violent communication" "everywhere. The parent-child relationship of "non-violent communication" has given us a new way of opening, allowing us and our children to turn conflict into cooperation and regain mutual trust and support. Whether the child is 5 or 15 years old, parents can gain new strength from this book to manage their relationship with their children. When you make changes, you will find that the world changes with prescription, you will become the kind of parent you want, and your child will grow into the best version of yourself.
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