Children who are often urged, their behavior patterns have quietly changed, but their parents still don't "know"

time:2023-02-02 author:Baby bones
Children who are often urged, their behavior patterns have quietly changed, but their parents still don't "know"

Introduction: Urging children is something every parent will do. Moreover, it may also have negative emotions due to urging, yelling at the child, throwing things, etc.

The children who were urged and those who were not urged had different behavior patterns

Take Dabao to a drawing class, he went late, After class, I still draw and paint. I can only wait and hope that he will finish painting the "giant work" as soon as possible and rush home for dinner. I was a little impatient at the time, but I didn't show it. After all, there are several children who are also drawing at the same time. After a while, the children in the studio handed in their works to the teacher one after another. A little boy's mother urged: "Hurry up! Everyone else has finished painting!" The little boy glanced at his mother aggrievedly, and continued to draw with his head down, his fingers obviously disobedient, smearing in the east and west, I was also hesitant to choose a brush, as if I didn’t know what color to use. The mother beside me obviously didn't see the child's emotional changes, only knew that the child was immediately detained, and began to urge: "You are the slowest, hurry up, and your father will beat you when you get home!" Then he went back and forth in the studio. Walking around, looking at the watch from time to time, very impatient. There is a mother next to her, who is also waiting for her child. But the parent just sat quietly, without a displeased expression, watching the child draw quietly. The teacher is also packing up and preparing to leave. The children who were not urged have already drawn them and handed them over to the teacher. They turned around to say hello to me and said goodbye. Dabao also drew them and handed them to the teacher. There was only a little boy in the studio, and he threw the paintbrush: "I don't want to paint anymore, okay?" Then he started to cry. After the teacher accepted the painting, he came over to comfort the child, while the mother was still aggressively saying some innocuous words. The little boy's painting seemed unfinished. The teacher said softly that it was okay, and asked him to follow his mother home and paint it next time. But the little boy shook his head and sat still. His mother immediately raised the volume: "The teacher told you to go, why don't you go? You can't finish your homework, and you still don't go home, what do you want to do?" Then she dragged the little boy home. On the way home with Dabao, I was also thinking that the sensitive little boy must have noticed that his mother was in a bad mood. Even if the teacher said he could go, he didn't want to go home. Psychologists believe that parents who control their children too strictly and often urge them will accelerate the breeding of his rebellious psychology. Children's brain development is different, and parents' urging may cause changes in children's behavior patterns and lack of subjective initiative.

Parents' urging can affect children's behavioral patterns

The Harvard Center for Child Development has a column devoted to children's procrastination. Experts concluded that children dawdling, mainly because of a lack of execution. What is executive power? The definition of executive power is more complicated. In simple terms, it includes the ability of the brain to eliminate distracting information according to the goal. Just like the child's "dawdling" thing in the above, a painting has been painted by all the children, but he hasn't finished it yet. The urging (interfering information) of the mother on the side may be one of the reasons why the child cannot complete the painting. The more the mother talked to the child, the less the child knew what to draw, and finally gave up. The child's behavior pattern is gradually established, which is related to the development of its brain (hippocampus) and cognition. If the child is constantly disturbed in the early days, his behavior pattern will change qualitatively. Things that could have been insisted on, do not insist; things that could have been continued, do not continue; things that could have been tried, do not try. Anyway, that's how I am, my mother always "urges" to do what she wants. Other cognitive abilities of the child will also be hindered. Studies have shown that children with strong personalities are prone to become irritable and irritable, have poor patience when urged, and simply do not listen to others' persuasion. The child has not yet established a clear concept of time, which is also one of the reasons for his dawdling. When the children grow up in age, the living environment and the knowledge they are exposed to become richer and richer, the phenomenon of dawdling will gradually slow down. But this process is still long, and parents need to wait for the flowers to bloom.

Dawdling the child, what can I do without urging?

"An inch of time is worth an inch of gold", the preciousness of time is self-evident to us adults. But what does a child do with such time? He may still play next time, so he doesn't feel any essential difference. If the parents are irritated, for the child, it may be a bad mood, and the next may be beaten. Other feelings are few and far between. Therefore, the world of a child has his own cognition and understanding, which is different from that of us adults. Let’s talk about the child who draws in the text. For him, drawing is a very difficult thing (this is the case for every preschool child), the muscles of the hand are not fully mature, the fine motor is not in place, and the sense of strength is insufficient. , the time spent will naturally be more. Mom seems to be "dawdling", even though he has worked hard. Therefore, the children you will see look innocent, they are really innocent. Put away your emotions, try to keep calm, and don't hurt the child. I've been through this process myself and know how hard it is. But if you are willing to try and really improve your child's "dawdling" problem, I suggest you make adjustments from the following aspects: 1. Purchase several books on early childhood development, understand the child's body structure, and know why he is so dawdling; 2. Prepare a clock, teach children to recognize time, and gradually establish a concept of time; 3. Understand children's behavior, and gradually build your parent-child habits. Tips: Among them, the key is the concept of time. When the child has the concept of time, when he wakes up in the morning, he knows that he needs to wash, eat, and what time to go to class. He doesn't need you to urge him, he'll have a sense of urgency too. Broken thoughts: There is no identical leaf in the world, and neither is a child. They have their own growth rhythm, perhaps different from other children. What parents can do is not to help the seedlings grow, but to accompany their children to grow up slowly. In his time and space, progress with him. (The picture in this article comes from the Internet, if there is any infringement, please contact to delete it)
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