Children always say "I'm afraid"? The reasons and countermeasures are all here

time:2022-12-09 author:Fever
Children always say "I'm afraid"? The reasons and countermeasures are all here

In life, do your children often behave like this: when they hear thunder, they hide under the quilt and keep saying "I'm afraid"; they don't dare to go to the toilet alone, they must be accompanied by their mother; go to bed at night They don't want to turn off the lights, they say they're afraid of the dark, ghosts, and monsters... Why do children always say they're afraid of this or that? Is it really because they're not brave or too timid? Actually not. The reason why children always say "I'm afraid" has a lot to do with their parents' educational methods.

Parents' fears cause children's fears

Children's fears are not innate, but are mostly formed by the influence of their parents. For example, parents were bitten by dogs when they were young and were very afraid of dogs. Usually, when they saw their children approaching a puppy on the road, they would reflexively shout, "Don't touch! Danger!" Seeing dogs or even other small furry animals in the future will be terrifying.

Parents' intimidation makes children form fearful imaginations

When children are naughty and troublesome, some parents always like to use "If you make trouble again, let the big bad wolf kill you" "Catch away" "If you don't sleep well, the monsters will come to catch you" to scare the child and try to make the child obey. As everyone knows, children who are still young have insufficient knowledge of the world, and it is easy to generate terrible associations through imagination, and as a result, the more they think about it, the more afraid they become.

Parents' excessive attention makes children more and more withdraw

Many parents are afraid that their children will be hurt, so they pay attention to their children's every move all the time, and always remind their children to stay away from danger: "Slow down, don't fall!" "It's too hot, I'll come!" "Be careful, don't get your clothes dirty!" But the more parents take care, the more suppressed the child's desire to explore. Over time, children will form the impression that there are dangers everywhere, and they will become more and more timid. They dare not play the slide, dare not play the horizontal bar, and dare not talk to others. Therefore, in daily life, parents need to give their children correct demonstration and guidance to avoid making children feel afraid.

What should parents do when their child is already fearful?

  • Accepting children's fears
Fear is a normal emotion, not only in children, but also in adults. But many parents feel that children are timid when they say "fear". In order to make their children bold, parents always say: "What is there to be afraid of? Be more courageous, you are a big child." It can make children feel that their fears are not important in the eyes of their parents, and it is more likely to increase insecurity. In fact, when a child says "fear", he is seeking help from his parents. At this time, what parents need to do is to fully understand the child's fear and accept the child's fear. Don't say "what's so scary" or "don't be afraid", replace it with "I'm here, I will always be with you", let the child calm down, let go of his guard, and eliminate the fear in the care of the parents mood.
  • Alleviate children's fears
Parents can use picture books to help children understand what fear is all about, and let children realize that he is not the only one who is afraid, many Everyone is afraid of things, so that children will be recognized and relieved. At the same time, parents need to pay attention. If the child is afraid of ghosts, monsters and other imaginary things that do not exist, it is useless to answer "Where are there ghosts in the world?" "Don't talk nonsense, how can there be monsters?" Parents cannot ask their children to use adults An objective view of the world. What parents can do at this time is to let the child describe what the feared thing looks like, what it is doing, or even let the child draw it. This "desensitization therapy" can help children face their inner fears. At the same time, parents need to clearly tell their children that "you are safe, and Mom and Dad will always be with you" to enhance their children's sense of security and let them understand that there is nothing to fear.
  • Increases happy memories
If a child experiences unpleasant events during the day, at night the darkness reinforces their insecurities and connects with the unpleasantness of the day, making the child feeling scared. Therefore, parents should spend more time with their children, increase the happy memory of parent-child interaction, let children fully feel happy emotions, and reduce the fear and pressure caused by negative emotions. At the same time, before going to bed, parents can also play some bedtime games with their children in the bedroom, so that the children understand that the bedroom is a safe place, and when the lights are turned off to sleep, the children will not feel afraid. In order for children to have the courage to face their fears, parents first need to lead by example and create a warm and safe environment for their children. Therefore, when children say "I'm afraid", parents must not take it lightly. Find out the reasons why children are afraid, and carry out psychological comfort and counseling, so that children can grow up with courage and self-confidence.
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