There is often a phenomenon of "competition for favor" in families with two children. What should parents do to be as fair as possible?

time:2022-10-07 05:16:13source:monlittlebaby.com author:Baby bones
There is often a phenomenon of "competition for favor" in families with two children. What should parents do to be as fair as possible?

My friend has just given birth to a second child, bathed in the spring breeze of the country's release of the second child policy, and embarked on a career of raising a second child. Perhaps the older I get, the more I like children. The age difference for the toys to play with each other, but the opposite is true. The eldest may be due to the first child, or a boy. He grew up enjoying all kinds of pets from his family since he was a child, and his status in the family can be said to be one of the best. But with the arrival of the second child, she is still a younger sister. In addition, the status of the girl has improved now. The family loves this little princess even more, and unconsciously ignores the big boy, the eldest. Every home has delicious food and drink Hold on to your sister first. The eldest quickly "falls out of favor", it seems that the rebellious period came a little earlier, he did everything against his parents, and he bullied his sister from time to time, and several times he deliberately locked his sister in a small dark room and made the child cry hard, while he was on the side. Playing mobile games, my friend came home and saw that the second child was tired from crying and fell asleep. He hadn't eaten for a day, so he gave the elder a hard beating. Why do families with two children have the phenomenon of "competition for favor"? Many families with a second child will find that their children are competing for favor. For example, when parents hold the second child, the eldest will cry, and when there is no food, the parents will always say to the eldest: "You are the eldest, you should let your younger brothers and sisters. "The boss was particularly aggrieved, and felt that he was also a child, so why did he sacrifice himself every time. Then let's look at twin families, you will find that the eldest child in twin families rarely competes for favor, because the children in twin families are born almost at the same time, and the living environment is the same, including the family's care for the children They are all equal, so they won't have too much petting behavior. However, in a second-child family, because the eldest and the second child were not born at the same time, some parents would leave the clothes worn by the eldest to the second child to wear, and let the second child eat first when eating, because the second child is relatively small, so always It is to become the most popular member of the family. As soon as there is a second child, the eldest takes the responsibility of the elder brother and sister as a matter of course in the eyes of the family, and cannot be willful. But many parents ignore a problem, that is, the eldest is also a child, and also needs the tolerance and care of the parents. There are many examples of how to educate families with two children. In families with two children, whenever the eldest and the second play together, once the second cry, the eldest is always punished. Many parents, regardless of right and wrong, are always partial to the second child. They feel that the elder brother is the elder brother and sister, so they should let the younger brother and sister. In fact, this kind of education method is not right, so how does the family with the second child educate it? 1. To take care of the emotions of the eldest child Chinese-style education, the eldest must assume the responsibility of taking care of his younger siblings, but the eldest is also a child after all, and many things may not be able to be done particularly well. If you do not do well, parents should also pay attention Emotions of the eldest child. For example, some rural parents have heavy farming work, and the responsibility of taking care of the second child falls on the eldest. Once the second child is not taken care of, the eldest will be beaten and scolded by his parents. In this case, parents need to take care of the boss's emotions and understand that the boss, as the eldest son, has limited ability. Although you haven't done a good job, you can say to your child, "Thank you my darling. Although you are not yet an adult, you can already help your parents take care of your younger siblings. Although you haven't done it well, you still try your best. Now, mother is very happy, you should do this next time (tell the correct way).” 2. Let two children play together and create more game activities or common learning opportunities. Let two children play together and grow together, and the feelings are all in It is cultivated in daily life, so learning and playing together can deepen the children's feelings, and parents should also reason with the children: "You are all good children of your parents, we love you very much, although you are different. There are advantages and disadvantages, but they are the palms and backs of parents, you are brothers and sisters and you need to help each other to grow together." 3. Learn to "close the door to teach children" to know that children also have self-esteem and face, when children make mistakes When it is time to call the child to a room for education alone, do not educate in front of other relatives, friends or even brothers and sisters, otherwise it will make the child feel that he has lost face. For example, millet and millet are sisters. Once millet made a mistake, her mother beat millet indiscriminately in front of millet. Millet felt that her mother didn't love her at all. This kind of situation is similar. Especially many, until Xiaomi grew up, he hated his mother very much. Therefore, parents must pay attention to the methods and methods when educating their children. Children have self-esteem, and they must pay attention to the one-to-one way to educate their children. 4. Be fair. You will find that many families with second children grow up. The eldest child of many families is an "all-round talent", whether it is repairing water and electricity, doing housework, etc., they are all good at everything, and the second child ? Just some simple life skills. Especially in a family that prioritizes boys over girls, if the boss is a girl, the responsibility will be a little more. Boys and girls have the same right to education and personality. When something happens, when two children quarrel, parents must clearly identify the reasons, look at the problem from a fair point of view, and be fair to others. If it is the second child's mistake, criticize the second child, otherwise, if you spoil the second child blindly, when you grow up, the second child will only be educated by the society. Pay more attention to children's psychological changes. Children's mentality changes gradually in the process of growing up. Some things are not understood when they are young, and they will gradually understand some truths when they become adults. Parents should pay attention to the psychological changes of their children in a timely manner. For example, during childhood, children pay more attention to their parents' relationship and love, and have absolute dependence on their parents. During adolescence, we must pay attention to the psychological changes of the child during adolescence, find out what is the reason for the child's rebelliousness, and take care of it in time. In the children's adulthood, it is also necessary to point out the maze of life for the children. It is not that children are freed from their parents' discipline when they become adults. Parents are always their children's teachers. There is such an example, there are parents who prefer sons to daughters, the eldest in the family is the daughter, the second is the son, and he loves his son very much. Once the second cry, it is the fault of the boss. If things go on like this, the boss is eager to get rid of his parents. In control, after she ran away from home when she was 12 years old, she was deceived into a ravine, and her parents fell into self-blame all the year round. Now that the national three-child policy has been opened, parents with more than two children in the family need not worry about their children’s education. I believe that every child will grow up healthy. Author: A working mother of two children who waits for the wind to come. She holds a pen in her left hand and her baby in the right. She likes to read, write, and draw. She firmly believes that even if life is a piece of chicken feathers, she still has her own longing poems and distances in her heart. Follow me and continue to give you Provide more parenting dry goods. (The picture comes from the Internet, if there is any infringement, please contact to delete it)
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