Insecure children feel inferior and anxious! These things that destroy the sense of security, mother don't do it

time:2023-02-02 author:Baby care
Insecure children feel inferior and anxious! These things that destroy the sense of security, mother don't do it

Wen|Ying's mother's 4-year-old Maomao has already entered a large class in kindergarten, but the teacher always said that Maomao has a special low self-esteem. He knew the questions asked by the teacher, but he couldn't answer them, and it was difficult for him to play with the children. The teacher suggested that mother take Mao Mao to see a psychiatrist. Mom took Mao Mao to the hospital to find a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist told her mother that this child was caused by a lack of security through her understanding of the parenting process of Mao Mao! Mao Mao's mother worked in Guangzhou when she was pregnant. Later, in the third trimester, she returned to Mao Mao's father's hometown of Guangxi to give birth. Not long after giving birth, Mao Mao's father was transferred to Chengdu to work, and her mother took Mao Mao to Chengdu! Later, because my father was too busy with work, my mother could not take care of Mao Mao alone, and took Mao Mao to my grandmother's house in Henan. It is precisely because of Mao Mao's frequent moving that destroys the child's sense of security. Psychologist Sigmund Freud mentioned that when children are exposed to stimuli that exceed the limits of their own control and release of energy, children will have a sense of trauma and danger. Frequent relocation during childhood brings children a feeling that their own control is beyond the boundaries, so children are prone to anxiety and insecurity.

Before the age of 6, parents should avoid doing these things that destroy the child's sense of security, which will easily make the child feel inferior

The first: move frequently Familiar environment, familiar air, and familiar temperature and humidity will make children live more like a duck to water. Frequent moving is a kind of physical and psychological stimulation for children, and it is not conducive to the establishment of children's sense of security, so it is best for children to have a fixed living environment when they are young. The second: Emotional neglect in childhood Some parents advocate: "Don't hold the child casually when he is crying", otherwise the child will become very clingy. In fact, crying when a child is a child is one of his languages. When a child cries, it means that he has needs. In addition to being hungry and urinating, it may be that he misses his mother and needs her warm embrace. Therefore, psychologists suggest that the child should not be spoiled too much before 6 months, and the child should be picked up as soon as possible as soon as he cries. A sense of security, anxiety and low self-esteem. The third item: Premature separation of the child and the mother. The first separation is to cut the umbilical cord after birth. The second separation is recommended for natural weaning when the child is about two years old, and the third separation is recommended by the mother. Children go to kindergarten. The first separation is the same for every child, and the umbilical cord must be cut off as soon as possible after birth, while for the second separation, many children are carried out in advance. For example, the child was born without breast milk, or the child was weaned from breast milk at three months and six months, and the breast milk was weaned before one year old because the mother had to go to work. Or hand over the child to someone else, which is an emotional trauma to the child and can easily lead to a lack of security for the child. The fourth item: Premature sharing with children suggests that children should consider sharing rooms after the age of 4. However, the time for different children to separate rooms is not the same. Some children are more attached to their mothers. Forcing them to share rooms with their children will lead to Children develop psychological trauma. So when will the children be separated? It depends on whether the child is ready. When the child is just separated, tell the child a story and put the child to sleep. The fifth item: Frequently changing the child's caregivers For example, some mothers are picky and change several babysitters a year, which is not a good thing for the child. After all, different babysitters have different tastes, different ways of taking care of children, and even different expressions and language, which is also a difficult adaptation for children. Children need to adapt to more things will cause psychological trauma, resulting in a lack of children's sense of security. Sixth: Parents quarrel in front of their children Many parents feel that their children do not understand anything when they are young, so they quarrel in front of their children recklessly. This will make the child feel that my parents are arguing and that I am not good, which will hurt the child's sense of security, and even make the child doubt his own existence. Before the age of 6 is a critical period for the formation of a child's sense of security. If the sense of security is not well formed, it will affect the child's mental health. Parents must avoid doing the above 6 things that hurt the child's sense of security. (The pictures are all from the Internet, if there is any infringement, please contact to delete)
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