Cake Mom: Rice Cake is in third grade! I, who insist on not being "chicken baby", have some changes recently

time:2022-10-07 06:55:02source:monlittlebaby.com author:Common phenomenon
Cake Mom: Rice Cake is in third grade! I, who insist on not being "chicken baby", have some changes recently

The rice cake is in the third grade~ Needless to say, sisters, everyone knows it. It is said that this is a very important watershed in elementary school, and I have no accident that I encountered a series of "small difficulties" - let's start with the first one today, how can a child procrastinate and procrastinate so much! Take a shower, grind and chirp in the bathroom for twenty minutes, sometimes take a face towel and drop a drop of pigment, do a dyeing experiment, and sometimes take a bunch of toys to do a "buoyancy experiment"... Once you're done, play x I went back to my room to read a book in minutes, had to drink water, went to the toilet for a while, and ran back to tease my brother for a while. After getting on the tuba, as usual, he had to appreciate the "victory results" for a while, then ran out to give us a description, and asked to take pictures of it as a souvenir? ? Of course, what bothered the mother the most was her homework. The big boss in the homework is writing essays. For example, I have two unwritten essays on a weekend. This eldest brother (yes, he is my eldest brother at this time) is still dawdling and reluctant to write, and he recites words in his mouth, "I don't want to write, I don't know how to write..." Watching him sit in front of his desk, smashing and wriggling, the little flame in my heart! Ah, ah, it's almost so hot! However, I have yet to close the door and beat the baby. For the time being, the image of a "gentle and rational" old mother has not been left behind. Not because of the burden of parenting bloggers, but because of my adult sanity - that would only make it more troublesome! ! ! As a result of yelling at the child, you usually spend at least another hour cleaning up the mess and repairing the parent-child relationship. Originally, the precious time to lie alone after the child fell asleep will be scrapped. Does it hurt? In a family with two children, you also need to consider the impact on the other. The hair cake of our "Lingguang" used to eat snacks to watch the fun when my father and I were seriously educating rice cakes. After reading it, I have to climb up to my brother's desk and shout "I want to learn", "Let me learn", and desperately "apply eye drops" to my brother... Really, my heart is too tired. The fire has returned to the fire, and the problem of parenting is finally solved with the power of knowledge. I have read so many books and consulted so many literatures. At this point it is somewhat useful. I know very well that the procrastination of rice cakes is a very common phenomenon for children at this stage. Just like an adult who has to hand in a PPT the next morning, and now have to make a cup of coffee and eat some fruit for a long time? Don't despise anyone. Another more "painful" reason is that my temperament and temperament are inherently different from rice cakes. I have been impatient since I was a child, and I still often keep my work and life schedule accurate to the point, so seeing the slow-witted rice cake grinding and chirping for 1 hour without doing anything is really a bit of a heartache. "The Complete Book of Psychological Parenting" is too right. The most painful part of getting along with parents and children comes from the difference in temperament. When you unconsciously want to use your own rhythm to change your child, various confrontations and conflicts will follow. So what should we do in the face of such predicament? To be honest, I also groped while reading, and now I have some small achievements in stages. I just took it out today to communicate with my sisters. If I can help you, that would be great! But when it comes to doing it, "the benevolent sees benevolence, and the wise sees wisdom". Let’s start with the first point: “Don’t rush, let the child be responsible for himself.” This is what I found out from the cake dad. The unique method of straight men has to be said that sometimes "it really works". The rice cake shouted "Why should I do my homework" N times a night. In order to avoid family wars, I would at most throw out a few golden sentences - "You can do what you need to do before you can do what you want to do." Of course, how can this be done? Can fool an 8-year-old pupil. In the end, it’s usually the cake dad who comes to give an ending to the day’s homework: he brings the rice cake to the desk, pulls a book from the shelf and sits beside him, “I’m on the side, you can write.” The technical content of this matter is that the cake dad can do it most of the time without getting angry or urging (this is the key point). Rice cakes are usually still murmuring and reluctant in every possible way, but you will find that his mouth is too straight: he is talking about some rubbish homework, and he has already done more than a dozen oral math problems in his hands. After a similar situation happened a few times, I discussed it with Dad Cake, and the general conclusion was: 95% of children are very clear in their minds. He dawdled and procrastinated there, but it was actually the process of fighting himself. It just takes a few minutes for the male hormones in the body to quiet down. If you urge him to intervene in his process at this time, he will be eager to turn his gun on you to confront you. Instead, you ignore him and tell him "it's your own business", and he will sit there and finish writing if he doesn't want to. Having consulted with experts, I know that psychologically, this is the process of making children responsible for themselves. Of course, parental intervention may make homework faster, and make bathing, eating, and going out quickly, but it is essentially responsible for the child. In the long run, parents will only become more and more tired, and the child's procrastination may become more and more serious. So at this point, Cake Dad can be said to have pinpointed an effective method by mistake. In the past 2 months, I have tried to deeply practice the psychological tactic of "he shouts, he shouts, the breeze blows the hills". No matter how many "don't" the child throws at me, I always take the attitude of "I'm here to inform you, not to discuss with you". It is useful to test and share! After the first step, let's talk about the second step. After seeing the child dawdling and procrastinating, in addition to "don't want to do it", there may be "can't do it". At this time, parents need to "help" just right on the basis of making their children responsible for themselves. For example, many parents have a headache composition. "Writing" was difficult when mochi 2nd grade. When I say go and write, I often sit there for half an hour without writing a word, and the question is, "I don't know what to write." I'm so annoyed. Cake Dad can't stand to accompany him to write the essay, so he just picks up his son... I'll change him (let's accompany his homework, if you want the child not to be beaten up, it's the best way to change someone in time). I was riding a spinning bike at the time, and I released some pressure and was more peaceful. Seeing how the rice cake Momojiji couldn't write a single word, I suddenly forgave him, it's hard to write something. I didn't rush him to write, but talked to him about other things: writing is very difficult, even if my mother and the aunts in the team, to write a good article, it is also a challenge. Not everyone can be a writer, but everyone can be trained to be a good writer, and I'm sure you can too. The child who had kept his head down began to look up at me, visibly relaxed. After that we spent some time talking about how I usually finish a piece of writing: don’t be afraid, write the first sentence first; write it down when inspiration strikes, don’t let him run away; don’t think about beautiful words, The real expression is the most touching. Just thinking about it, the two of us have been inking together for 10 minutes and haven't even started to write, but the aura has completely changed. I know he's ready to write. Then start talking about the composition topic, and the writing that day will be completed logically. We have to see what is behind the "slow". The child's procrastination is often the fear of difficulties, the fear and avoidance of distant goals. At such a time, urging him to do it as soon as possible is not the best policy, and it is even worse to help the child to complete it. Lifting the psychological barrier and letting him dare to challenge himself is the long-term solution. I have to say that this combination of punches seems to solve the problem of the child, but in fact, it is the heart of the old mother. I believe that many mothers have the same feeling as me: the child in front of me is getting taller day by day, I can mix socks with me, and I have my own ideas for doing things. But such a not-so-stupid child, how can you get so mad at those anxious moments of rushing homework and going out? In fact, mental maturity still has a long way to go. The accumulation of ability and efficient management of oneself is a long subject. This matter cannot be rushed. Accepting that there is a gap between what the child can do and what I expect is a phased way of getting along with my 8-year-old rice cake. The two small methods shared above are the principles of dealing with procrastination that I have personally practiced and found to be effective. To be honest, since I figured out the ins and outs of the problem, the tight strings between me and the rice cakes suddenly became loose and elastic. The various procrastination symptoms of rice cakes in front of the desk will still occur from time to time, but he already understands that it is his "homework". Sometimes it is impossible to complete, and we will also seek our help. To be able to do this, the old mother already feels very good. As for being slower sometimes? Just slow down, that's what he is.
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