What should I do if the child is not beautiful and has low self-esteem? Three ways to help children relieve appearance anxiety

time:2022-10-07 06:05:39source:monlittlebaby.com author:Sneeze
What should I do if the child is not beautiful and has low self-esteem? Three ways to help children relieve appearance anxiety

During a picnic, my friend's 14-year-old daughter asked me, "Auntie, do you know what the most profitable industry is now?" "I don't know." I answered honestly. "In the plastic surgery industry, one of my classmates' mother is a plastic surgery teacher. She is very beautiful. It costs thousands of dollars for a single injection of hyaluronic acid. My classmate has dark circles under her eyes since she was a child. It’s gone, and another classmate went to South Korea to study and got double eyelids, it’s really nice.” The child told me with high spirits, and I sighed in my heart about the child’s premature development, and even his thoughts were so mature , am I old? I don't even know what a "panda needle" is. "Auntie, you have a temperament. I also want to have big double eyelids and thin skin like you. Look at my single eyelid, it looks very small, and I want to make mine too." The child uses a mobile phone The screen illuminates his eyes, and while taking pictures, he laments that his eyes are not perfect. "Your eyes are very beautiful, like a Korean star. You don't look good with that kind of single eyelid. It's like a mother's birth. Your appearance looks like that kind of high-end face." "Really, My classmates say I'm not beautiful enough, and I'm actually quite inferior." The child was very happy when he heard my compliment, but the happiness was fleeting, saying that he was very eager to be beautiful in his heart. Why Appearance Anxiety Happens? Appearance anxiety can occur in both men and women, especially in adolescent children. The secondary sexual characteristics of adolescent children gradually appear, and children begin to pay attention to their physical development, and begin to pay attention to their facial features and body shape. For example, boys start to pay attention to whether they have a beard and whether they have muscles, and girls start to pay attention to their fatness, the length of legs, the delicateness of their skin, and so on. According to a study done by the School of Mind, more than 50% of teenagers are dissatisfied with their appearance to some extent, and the proportion of girls is the largest, reaching about 70%. When facing our own flaws correctly, we must understand that we are unique individuals and imperfect individuals. Every child is flawed. The spacing is too wide, etc. When encountering these problems, you must first admit your imperfection and face up to your own shortcomings. For example, if a child has O-shaped legs, he will take his child to participate in bodybuilding training. Lose weight, etc., and establish self-confidence for children, so that they can become more perfect through acquired efforts. Then help your child focus elsewhere and try not to focus too much on his own flaws. Correctly face their "beautiful" and "ugly" children have certain appearance anxiety, and those beautiful children will also have appearance anxiety, because they are too good-looking, they will attract everyone's attention. A single line becomes a source of evaluation for others. For example, a very beautiful little girl on Douyin went to elementary school. Her mother took pictures of her daily life on Douyin and posted it on the Internet. Unexpectedly, it attracted a lot of fans, the number of clicks soared, and the attention was also millions. fan. The comments ranged from compliments at the beginning to later saying that the girl was "greatly disabled", and some said that "parents are over-consuming their children's looks", and some said that "girls only have beautiful looks but no special talents", and more Some people say that "children of this age should focus their energy on learning instead of consuming their youth excessively". These bad comments made the girl's heart hit ten thousand points. When the girl was disheartened, her grades also dropped extremely, and slowly it would become what netizens commented on. Her mother keeps enlightening her. Others' comments are just because of their jealousy, but they must also face up to the negative comments of these netizens. It's not enough for a girl to have good-looking skin. The inner beauty can make a person shine even more. For example, improving one's own knowledge, versatility, kind heart and beautiful temperament is a more beautiful performance. Helping children establish correct three views Parents can ask their children to do a survey and ask their friends why they are willing to be friends with themselves, whether it is your optimistic attitude towards life, your excellent academic performance, or because you grow up. look good? Some children will think that the current society is an era of "three views give way to the five senses". What's the use of learning well and having a good personality? Most people will choose to like someone because of their appearance. At this time, parents should tell their children that everyone is different. They can use some physically disabled but positive and optimistic examples to encourage children not to pay too much attention to their appearance, to live for themselves, and not to deliberately please anyone. What can parents do to ease their children's anxiety? 1. Let the children know that "beauty" is a polyhedron. The beautiful facial features that are popular today are thick eyebrows, big eyes, high nose bridge, small mouth, and melon-seed face, commonly known as "net red face". Look at those faces that look like they are carved out of a mold. Do you really think Are they beautiful? Compare the beauty stars of the 1970s and 1980s, such as Wang Zuxian, Li Manyu, and Chen Xiaoxu, each with their own beauty. Parents can take photos of old stars in the old days and let children use today's aesthetics to comment on whether their appearance meets today's aesthetic requirements. Tell children about their deeds and talents that inner beauty goes hand in hand with outer beauty. 2. Parents themselves should reduce the discussion of appearance. Some parents start to discuss the appearance of their children from birth, who they look like, what is good or bad about their facial features, what are the flaws in their children's appearance, or praise them in front of their children. The child is beautiful and so on. These languages ​​will invisibly bring some appearance anxiety to children. They feel that their appearance has not been recognized by their parents, and they have not been praised by their parents, and then they will have appearance anxiety. There is a little girl named Han Anran in the variety show "Deformation Plan". She started plastic surgery when she was a teenager. She was dissatisfied with all parts of herself, and threatened to "live until I get old." This girl has been undergoing plastic surgery until now, and the cost of plastic surgery alone has cost millions, but is it really beautiful? All kinds of bad comments from netizens, including now that she is a mother, netizens began to criticize her daughter's appearance again. Because the girl felt that she was not approved by her parents from a young age, she kept trying to make herself perfect. 3. Let the children divert their attention. Don't let the children pay too much attention to their appearance. Let the children learn more talents. The standard of ancient beauties is "proficient in piano, chess, calligraphy and painting", or let children participate in sports more, life lies in sports, even if It is not "beautiful" to have a good-looking outside but lack a strong physique. Let children shift their attention to appearance to improving their inner self. Society is changing, aesthetics are also changing, children will inevitably have anxiety during adolescence, but if parents guide them well, help children establish good values, and let children’s focus shift to their studies, talents, etc., they will find that there are more Focus on the things that are more worthwhile to look at. Author: A working mother of two children who waits for the wind to come. She holds a pen in her left hand and carries her baby in the right. She likes to read, write, and draw. She firmly believes that even if life is a piece of chicken feathers, she still has her own longing poems and distances in her heart. Follow me and continue to give you Provide more parenting dry goods. (The picture comes from the Internet, if there is any infringement, please contact to delete it)
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