The first batch of families who were determined not to have children have now lived like this...

time:2022-12-09 10:15:40source:monlittlebaby.com author:Make one's mouth water
The first batch of families who were determined not to have children have now lived like this...

As an obstetrician and gynecologist, Jenny is used to writing about topics such as "fertility". Today, from a new perspective, let's talk about "DINK". The concept of DINK entered our country in the 1980s, and now it has been almost 40 years, and the first batch of DINK has entered middle age or old age. So, what kind of life are they living now, who were determined not to have children at that time? More than ten years later, Dink and we divorced. My husband and I were college classmates, and we stayed in the local area after graduation. The two of us are not people who like children. We used to date, and when we encountered children making noise in public, we invariably looked at each other, smiled, and immediately avoided. After a long time, a tacit understanding has been formed, so we didn't struggle much at first when we didn't want children. Although the parents on both sides were reluctant, we gradually compromised with our insistence. It was not until 20 years ago that my mother-in-law became seriously ill. After she recovered, she could not take care of herself. Her husband and his brothers and sisters began to take turns to take care of her. At this time, my husband began to change, and he would carefully ask me if I thought it would be better to have a child. I didn't care at first, and I asked a lot. I asked the reason, and he said, "Look at the mother's illness. There are several children who take turns to take care of them. I don't want us to be sick in the future and no one will take care of them." I asked, did you start Didn't take this into account? He said that at first, he only saw the disadvantages of having children, and now he realizes the advantages of having children. After several arguments, I chose to compromise. Due to physical reasons, after going to the hospital for examination, the doctor suggested a test tube first. In this way, I embarked on the road of IVF. But this road is not as simple as we thought. After experiencing successive blows such as embryo implantation failure and fetal cessation of breathing, I was a little bit broken. I thought my husband would get through this difficult time with me, but he chose to give up. He gave up our marriage to be with a female colleague who was 10 years younger than him. When filing for divorce, he said: I'm sorry, I really can't wait. In this way, we quickly filed for divorce, the house belonged to him, the car and most of the savings belonged to me. Now I study and exercise in my spare time, and finally I don't have to go to the hospital again and again and again and again to get acupuncture. Mmmm, so good. Halfway through Dink, we were very happy to have children. My husband and I reached an agreement before we got married: we don't want children. We are not people who are afraid of taking responsibility, we just want to keep our limited energy to ourselves. Fortunately, both parents are very open-minded and did not interfere much. In this way, the two of us spent several years in the world leisurely, traveling, reading, and learning a musical instrument. But the two of them have been together for a long time, and slowly they feel that something is missing. Walking in the community and seeing other children calling me mom, I wondered what it would be like if someone called me mom too. I've been thinking about this for a while, and I'm feeling down. My husband noticed that something was wrong with me and asked me what was going on. I told him what I thought, and then said to him: Why don't we have a child! My husband was also moved by what I said. In this way, we, who were planning to stay Dink until old, began to actively prepare for pregnancy. Now that my daughter is over three years old, every time I hear her sweetly calling her mother, the maternal love in my heart is infinitely inspired. Sometimes I even joke with my husband. I knew that having children was so sweet, why did we want them earlier? Look, people's notions are really not set in stone, just let things take their course. So far, everything is good for us. The original family is the reason why I decided to Dink. My family has not been harmonious since I can remember. I've never seen my parents eat together in a friendly manner, usually just eating a bowl and flying. Of course I say this, and you may think it's a bit exaggerated, but it's a scene I often experienced when I was a kid. Looking at the way my parents get along with each other since I was a child, I have always been very resistant to getting married and having children. I am afraid that my future marriage will also be full of quarrels, I am afraid that I will become such a parent in the future, and I am even more afraid that my children will have the same childhood as me. I also talked about boyfriends a few years ago, but I broke up because I didn't want children. I also respect his choice. After all, few men will willingly not want children for you. Even if he accepts, his parents will not accept it. Unexpectedly, I actually met a boyfriend who loved me very much. He understood me very well, and he put a lot of effort into convincing his parents. Now that we have been married for almost 7 years, he never mentioned the matter of the child in front of me, but rather spoiled me as a child. At present, we two have a cat, we have a house and a car, and we are happy. As for whether we will regret it in the future, no one can tell now. After all, no one can predict what will happen in the future. Let’s live the present moment first. In short, every road has different scenery. If you choose this road, then you should go to see this scenery, and stop greedy for other people's scenery. Whether or not to have children is a life choice. According to incomplete statistics, more than 700,000 families in large and medium-sized cities in my country have voluntarily infertile. For couples who have been married for more than 5 years and do not want to have children, 10% are from Beijing, 12.4% in Shanghai and 11.8% in Shenzhen. The once relatively niche DINK has become a family model accepted by more and more people. Some people say that the DINK people only care about their own enjoyment and ignore the laws of nature and social responsibilities, which is a kind of selfish behavior. There was a question on Zhihu: Is Dink a kind of selfishness? More than 10,000 people have followed, and one of the most liked answers said: With the change of social structure and the trend of socialized pensions, childbirth is recognized as a right rather than an obligation, and it is a personal freedom, Dink Or having children is not selfish. Dink is a choice, some people start for various reasons, and some people end for various reasons. Every state of life is your own choice, and everyone should be responsible for their own choices. The answer sheet of life cannot be simply judged by one or two questions, and the factors that support us to write answers are also different. Most importantly, we can take responsibility for our choices. Some people say that a life without children is incomplete; others say that it is precisely because I have no children that I have doubled my youth. The bacteria feel that everyone has the right and ability to enjoy freedom and happiness, regardless of whether they have children or not. It is everyone's own choice to think about what kind of life to live, whether to have children or not. There is no right or wrong, and there is no good or bad. Whatever you choose, just be happy. If you want to be born, you will be born, and if you don't want to be born, you will not be born. Jianjun hopes that everyone can decide by heart. But as a doctor, I still want to remind everyone: fertility, the age limit for women is stricter than that for men, so many women in DINK families have higher remorse costs than men. So I hope that no matter which choice you make, you can be fully prepared.
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