Notice! Children do not cry or make trouble when they go to kindergarten. Instead, pay more attention to this situation.

time:2022-11-27 author:Cry
Notice! Children do not cry or make trouble when they go to kindergarten. Instead, pay more attention to this situation.

When working mothers want to return to the battlefield and kill the Quartet; when the baby reaches the age to go to kindergarten; when the baby temporarily leaves the mother for various reasons, and has to contact strangers and enter a strange environment, they often show anxiety and anxiety emotions, a condition we call "separation anxiety." Separation anxiety usually first appears around 8-10 months old, and 12-24 months is the peak period of separation anxiety. Children aged 8-14 months will refuse to let their mother out of their sight, and do not want their mother to go to work. Even if the mother goes to the bathroom, she will cry and slap the door outside the door. When they go to school when they are older, children will instinctively feel restless and anxious because they are leaving their familiar home environment and being exposed to new situations and new friends. So when the school starts in September every year, the kindergarten will always cry for a while. In addition to the baby, the parents were also particularly uncomfortable at this time, "hiding" in various corners inside and outside the park, watching the crying baby unable to move his legs.

So, does this separation anxiety affect my baby?

Separation anxiety is considered to be a normal developmental stage in children's growth and a way of self-protection for children in the existing viewpoints. Moderate separation anxiety will not bring a lot of trouble to the child, as long as the parents are patiently accompanied and guided, give the child a full understanding, and help the child adapt and transition. However, excessive separation anxiety requires parents to pay attention and help their children adjust in time. The specific manifestations are: strong refusal to separate from parents, and once separated, repeated anxiety, fear, crying, and even nausea, vomiting and other physical discomfort. Another situation is that, for example, when a child enters a kindergarten, he behaves very quietly and normally, just like an ordinary big class child. At this time, parents also need to pay more attention: Is there really no separation anxiety, or is there no separation anxiety expressed? If the child is easy to adapt to the new environment, the emotional changes are relatively gentle, and there is no obvious anxiety when he or she is separated from the parents, then there is no crying when entering the kindergarten, and the parents can rest assured: the child has a relatively low degree of separation anxiety. However, if it is found that the child has separation anxiety, but it is not expressed in the way of crying and entanglement, but at the same time there are behaviors that have not been seen before, such as eating fingers, biting nails, pulling hair, or even strongly resisting going to school, this shows that the child exists. Separation anxiety is just not expressed in the same way as other children. Parents should find out this situation in time, pay attention to it, and actively guide it, so as to avoid causing the child's insecurity and even affecting the whole life.

How to "peacefully break up" with your baby

A close and deep emotional connection is formed between the child and the caregiver, and when the separation comes, there is sadness, sadness, pain Emotions are normal. So, how should we "peacefully break up" with the baby at the moment of separation? The most important thing is to establish a "sense of ritual". The sense of ritual when parting can help children establish reasonable expectations for what will happen next, so that they "have a bottom line". There are a few things to note about the "separation ceremony": 1. Even if the pick-up and drop-off are different, the separation ceremony must be the same. This is easy for children to form a habit, and it is more conducive to accepting the daily separation in the future. You can arrange a goodbye ceremony according to your baby's preferences. It can be: kissing the forehead, high-fives, or "magic exercises" composed of simple actions. 2. After the farewell ceremony, the pick-up person leaves in a relaxed and happy mood. Emotions are contagious. When parents are very anxious when facing separation, how can they expect their children to be well-behaved, independent, and adapt to kindergarten as soon as possible? Therefore, when parting, parents must avoid excessive distress and excessive explanation of matters needing attention. Even if you are very anxious and worried, try your best to face your children with a pleasant attitude, so that they can feel our trust and peace of mind. 3. If the child asks to be picked up early, the parent must pay attention to the agreement. Kindergarten children have no specific perception of time, so making arrangements with them about specific activities such as "I'll pick you up after lunch" will give them more peace of mind. At the same time, you must pay attention to the agreement with your child. The child itself is like a blank piece of paper, it will write down every word the parents say, and will pay special attention to the agreement with the parent; if the parent often changes or breaks the agreement at will, over time, it will not only damage their image in the child's heart, but also Setting a bad example for your children is not worth the harm. In parenting, attachment and emotional connection go both ways, so separation anxiety isn’t just for kids. Therefore, entering and separating is a process in which both parents and children need to adapt and adjust together. This is also a goodbye in the psychological connection between parents and children: children will move towards a more socialized collective life and become more independent. Parents should also believe that children can adapt to the new environment and accept the fact that children will no longer rely on themselves. I hope that every little baby in the world can grow up healthy and happy, and I hope that every parent can spend every important moment in life with their baby in "peace"!
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