There is a daughter at home: don't make your child a "good girl", tell your child something as soon as possible

time:2022-11-27 author:Emergency treatment
There is a daughter at home: don't make your child a "good girl", tell your child something as soon as possible

"How did Ma Sichun become like this? I don't love myself so much!" Colleague Wang Li looked at her phone and shouted during lunch. I was very curious about what Ma Sichun did to make Wang Li, who has always been steady, cry out in surprise. "What happened to Ma Sichun?" "She drove the wrong way and threw things out of the window and was photographed. You said how she became like this! I liked her since she was Rao Xueman's book model. I watched her create a lot of characters, one step at a time. Step by step to the Golden Horse Movie Queen. But why has it become like this now? First, the body was out of shape, and there was no good work, then a scumbag was found, and then there were all kinds of negative news. ? It doesn't appear in the public's eyes very much now, and it is basically conditioning the body." "Yeah, it's because they feel sorry for her sickness. People who like her silently wait for her to release new works, but such an aspirant actor is only looking for a 'scumbag' to fall in love. I don't want my daughter to become a lover in the future. She doesn't discriminate between right and wrong, and doesn't listen to people's persuasion." The more Wang Li's anger "hate iron is not steel", the more I felt how deeply she liked Ma Sichun. People who have liked for more than ten years have probably transcended the definition of idols in their hearts and become friends.

It didn't get bad, but she used to be too good

Ma Sichun's starting point for entering the entertainment industry is relatively high. Aunt Jiang Wenli and her uncle Gu Changwei and his mother Jiang Lijuan's status in the performing arts industry make it easier for Ma Sichun to walk in the acting circle than others. Coupled with her own aura and hard work, she has a golden horse actress in her hands at a young age, and her future is predictably better. However, it backfired, she did not go uphill as everyone had foreseen, but went downhill out of her temper. In fact, if you look beyond the external fame and fortune, you will find that it is normal for Ma Sichun to become what he is now. Ma Sichun was educated to be a "good boy" from an early age. The elders in the family told her to be sensible and obedient, not to quarrel with others, and to learn to let others in everything. In a variety show, Ma Sichun recounted his experience of being bullied on campus. At the age of 14, she was brought to Beijing by her mother from her hometown. From a small place to a big city, she would have felt a huge gap in her heart, and she had to experience the bullying brought by others in this gap. Linguistic bullying, coke being filled with chalk dust, water rags, and love letters to people who are secretly in love are publicly recited... When she was aggrieved, when she told her mother, she did not get it, but told her not to take it seriously. Her family education is also very strict, no matter what the circumstances, she must be home before ten o'clock every day. All these Ma Sichun did according to the adults' requirements, and she never resisted, because she was educated from a young age, and she believed that what the adults said was right. As Professor Susan Forward said in the book "Toxic Parents": "Children will always believe what their parents say about themselves and turn them into their own ideas." Maybe it is too well protected by the family, The well-behaved Ma Sichun had internal and external tension, so she was depressed, out of shape, and fell in love with the recognized "scumbag" in the circle... These are really not that Ma Sichun has become bad, but that she was once too good, her rebellion is more than Others came later. In the future, Ma Sichun may grow up in this relationship, or any relationship, and become a better version of herself. But these are all things that she needs to experience, and everyone will take these paths, sooner or later.

A good child is a shackle

I saw this sentence in an article: The word "good girl" is like a yoke, not only locking her Her body also locked her soul, making her dare not try and make mistakes, dare not question, dare not publicize, and dare not try everything possible. 1. The child who is too good has no opinion. A friend I know got married at the age of 24 and divorced at the age of 30. When we met again at the age of 33, she said to me: "It used to be stupid, the family said you should get married, this boy is not bad , I got married; my family said you had to have a child as soon as possible, so I gave birth. In the years when a woman was young, I listened to my family and married and had children step by step. At the age of 30, I found that the other party was not entrusted with lifelong life. After I chose to divorce, for the first time I learned to be the master of myself, because I am a mother. Now I think about that time, I was really stupid." She is a typical good child who was educated by her family. She had never thought about doing something for herself before, no matter how much she was wronged, she took it for granted. If I didn't stop it in time, I don't know how much grievances I will suffer in the future. 2. Children who are too good are easy to be bullied. Ma Sichun was educated to be a good girl since childhood. When encountering someone who bullied him, his parents told him to be patient and not to care. As a result, instead of getting friendly treatment from those classmates, it intensified. Professor Li Meijin said: "Many parents train their children in the direction of being a lady, but beautiful girls have no ability to protect themselves once they meet hooligans." A label does not mean that they really like this label, but they will certainly aggrieve themselves for this label and strive to meet the expectations of others for themselves. This is not a good thing for children, they will lose a lot of happiness because of this label!

If you have a daughter, you should tell her 7 sentences as soon as possible

A netizen said: I used to teach my daughter to be polite, humble, easy-going, and accommodating outside. Because that's what my parents taught me. Slowly I found that such education is not suitable for the current environment. Children must be sensible and polite, but they must also have their own principles and bottom lines. When they violate their bottom lines, they cannot just give in. That's why, as parents, we can't protect our daughter for a lifetime, and don't let her lose the edge and the ability to protect herself in our education. In the process of accompanying my sister growing up, I always told her seven words, which are also the seven words that Harvard professors expect from their children, and I hope to share with parents who have daughters at home. 1. No matter who you talk to, you must speak loudly and face others bravely; 2. Learn to refuse what you don’t want to do, even if the other person is your teacher; 3. Don’t care too much about other people’s feelings; 4. Others want what you want If you don’t want to, don’t dare to refuse, ask him a question, what will you exchange with me? 5. If a classmate scolds you, you can be brave enough to scold you back; 6. Don't pay too much attention to the teacher's opinion; 7. When you feel wronged, you must tell your parents as soon as possible, they are your strong backing. As a mother, I think the last point is very important, and the previous points are all based on the last certain foundation. As parents, while educating our children, we also need to let them understand that there are parents behind them. This is to give children the courage to face the world and be themselves! Broken thoughts: I never want my daughter to be a defined "good girl", but to let her maintain her own personality. While educating her to be kind to others, I hope to learn to protect herself first! (The picture in this article comes from the Internet, if there is any infringement, please contact to delete it)
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