There are three "weaning" in life, parents who drag their children for half their lives will also be dragged down by their children

time:2022-12-02 15:04:19source:monlittlebaby.com author:Common phenomenon
There are three "weaning" in life, parents who drag their children for half their lives will also be dragged down by their children

I often say that there are two times of weaning in life. One is when I was a baby. I cried and cried that I had to suck my mother's milk or a bottle. Sometimes my mother even tried her best to rub mint and soy sauce on the nipple, and she cried again if she insisted. The kid who shouted again can't be weaned. The second weaning is during the child's teenage years, around the time of rebellion. I once said that a child's rebellion is often because he is old and his innate ability wants him to go out and become independent, but he cannot do without his parents. Under the "tug-of-war" between these two emotions, conflicts arise. Rebellious way manifested. So teenage rebellion is the second weaning. But believe it or not, there is still a third weaning. Parents are reluctant to leave home when their children are older and want to go out to fight on their own. Some of the previous generation, especially the older ones, will even pour cold water to cool down the enthusiasm of the next generation, hoping to keep their footsteps. Why? Because they are weak, they need more and more explanations from their children. They have become children. Children cannot be separated from their homes, and the elderly cannot be separated from their children. Also, as I said earlier, they are getting older and weaker, and gradually they see life openly, so they put the "now-awareness" feeling of sadness, wanting to talk, but wanting to talk, but it's cold Good autumn." The attitude of indifference to the world is conveyed to young people. The question is, are young people really no longer rushing forward at this time? It's like weaning a baby. Even if your mother tells you to keep sucking until you are one year old, one and a half years old, or even two or three years old, will you keep sucking? You will always stop on your own, and even if your mother insists you keep pumping, you won't. The same is true for training children's self-control. As the saying goes, "Women don't stay in the middle, stay and stay and keep enemies." (Actually, it doesn't have to be a daughter, the same is true for a son.) When a child should be independent, go out to explore the world, and seek When you have a spouse or start a family and start a business, unless he is a "mum's treasure" who doesn't grow up and is gnawing at an old family, if you insist on him staying by your side, they will resist, and they will also "stay here and stay as enemies"! I once said, "Parents who drag their children away for half their lives are often dragged down by their children for the rest of their lives." This is vigilance for parents, grandparents, and grandparents, as well as vigilance for the next generation. When you encounter parents or grandparents who always drag you, wake you up, help you get dressed, carry your schoolbags, drive you to and from school every day, push you to do your homework, and put you to bed, you should also be vigilant. , will you lose your motivation? Not long ago, there was a poll on Weibo asking those parents, if your child is out of school and the weather is good outside, many children come out to play, but your child does not do homework. At this time, do you insist on telling him to finish his homework before going out to play, or do you let him grasp the time and go out to play while it is dawn, and then count the time to go home? Most of the answers I get are that you can't go out to play unless you have finished your homework, otherwise the child will go crazy after playing and won't know that he is coming back to do his homework. The problem is that after the child's homework is finished, it's getting dark, maybe it's cold, and all the other children have gone home. Are you going to let the child out at this time? Why don't you take this opportunity to train your child's self-control, to watch the time, to control the fun, and to go home when the time comes? Another poll on pocket money. Ask parents, do you give your children pocket money at a fixed time, or when the child reaches out? During the Chinese New Year, if the child gets the red envelope, if you don’t need to change it and send it out immediately, will you leave it to the child, teach the child to save it, and plan how to use it? Most parents say that money cannot be given to their children, because they have no self-control, and as soon as the money reaches their pockets, they will spend it indiscriminately. At this point I ask, when will they have self-control? From the day the university released the rankings, the day you went out to live on campus? The day you go out to work? Or the day you get married? Suddenly they can be independent? From not knowing how to plan financially, to knowing it? Why not teach them self-control, teach them planning, and even teach them money management, starting with a little pocket money while they are still young? If the experiment is carried out for a long time, it is found that the children are really not restrained in spending money, and they cannot teach them, and the parents have a lot of savings. Rather than being squandered by the children in the future, it is better to protect them through insurance, trust, etc. early. I have seen many parents who strictly control their children's money when they are alive, and their children's large inheritances are squandered by their children not long after they die. Parents need to know when to let go. Today's parents often have a problem, that is, they think that their children are not grown up and they have to take care of everything. It's funny. I know some parents whose children have left home and went to a university far away. I also call every day and ask, "Have you woken up? Didn't you have class this morning?" I have also encountered a more serious one. The child is studying in the United States, and the mother asks every day across the Pacific Ocean, "Are you home yet?" The question is , can parents live with their children for the rest of their lives? Animals raised in confinement centers, in order to allow them to return to nature one day, caregivers will hang meat from trees, put live chickens in their cages, or use other methods to motivate them to forage and chase prey Ability. Shouldn't we also create opportunities for the next generation as early as possible and let them make their own decisions, so that one day they will be truly independent?
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