When my husband told me: In fact, men also have postpartum depression

time:2022-12-05 05:44:46source:monlittlebaby.com author:Cry
When my husband told me: In fact, men also have postpartum depression

After having a child, the husband and wife can spend the time alone, probably only the short time when the child falls asleep. Sometimes we chat, sometimes we don't, and sometimes we have unfinished household chores. Most of the time, we will do our work in the study, but we will be used to pour each other a glass of water and put it on each other's table, which is a way of expressing our love. The management of the relationship between husband and wife sometimes requires a little deliberateness, creating some romantic sweetness between husband and wife, and continuing to save regularly for each other's "emotional account", so as to keep the relationship between husband and wife warm. Frankly speaking, we have not always been like in front of the TV. The 8 o'clock husband and wife show was actually when the second child was born, and our husband and wife also experienced a period of fatigue. Because the eldest was only one year and three months old, and the second child was born, Shuangbao's parenting life made us both chaotic, and the trivial affairs of parenting caused us to fall into endless anxiety and irritability. Every day I am busy with milking, feeding, burping, changing diapers, and facing the little baby who is crying for no reason. In addition, when the second child was born, the eldest was sent to my grandmother's house, and when I went to my grandmother's house, the elder cried every day. , I have a lot of emotional ups and downs, and it is easy to catch a cold. I have to see a doctor every three days to take medicine. It makes people feel very distressed. I can't help but feel guilty and self-blame. Because of this, I became extremely sensitive for a while when the pressure exploded. It was obviously just a trivial matter, but it always made me nervous like the sky was falling. Sometimes, because of the irritability, I will involuntarily appear bossy command sentences to my husband. "Husband~ Didn't you see that his diaper was wet? Why didn't you change her?" "Husband~ Hurry up! Bring me the gauze towel! She vomited grandma~" "Husband~ Her bib is wet, hurry up Replace one for her, or she will get a saliva rash later." "Husband~ look! She has a rash on her body! Is she allergic to something?" Why does Dajiao always feel like the child is my own? It's just me being nervous over there. Why am I breastfeeding? Is it me who put me to sleep? In the middle of the night, the child started crying and coaxing the child, or was it me? I found out later that I actually forgot. I forgot to see him who must accompany me at every maternity check-up. I forgot to see him who was driving back and forth as a coachman. I forgot that he was always silently instructed by me to do things. The tedious and repetitive work of parenting affairs made me forget to see how good my husband is, but I always blamed him for what he did not do, and even compared him with others. Dissatisfaction and complaints accumulated bit by bit in my heart. I forgot to thank, to communicate, to kiss, to hug, to cherish, and to see his goodness. "Other people's husbands will accompany their wives to the delivery room, why don't you?" "Others' fathers use cameras to take pictures of their children, why don't you?" I only saw what he failed to do, but not his efforts. Like me, I'm still learning how to be a parent. It wasn't until one time when my husband looked at me half-jokingly and said, "Did you know? Actually, men can also suffer from postpartum depression~" I was shocked to realize that after having a child, I ignored his feelings to some extent. , His mood, and many of the emotions that could not be vented on the baby were all thrown to him. We sat down and had a long and serious conversation. He confided a lot about himself, and talked about the fact that Dad is not like Mom, who has gone through the process of being pregnant for ten months. When I saw the fetal movement, I was just curious. I asked him to talk to the child in his belly. To be honest, he really didn't know what to talk about, but if he didn't respond, the wife would be upset again, thinking that the father didn't care and didn't love the child. After the baby was born, I looked at the monkey-like "creature" in front of me and thought, "Is this really my baby?", "Am I really a father?" After a little bit of self-consciousness as a father, my brain slowly turned on, and I found that there was a crying baby beside me. He is still learning how to be a father. Sometimes it's not that he doesn't want to take part in the childcare work, but his mother brings the whole bowl, and the father doesn't have any chance to show at all~~~ I started to calm down and reflect on myself. After having a child, I hardly paid attention to my husband, and put the child first in everything, so that to a certain extent, he would have a sense of loss that his status had plummeted. Later, we began to make some changes in our lives. After the children fell asleep, we would chat about each other’s work or mood today. When we were not chatting, we would hug each other before going to bed or give each other a massage, and ask my father-in-law when we had free time on weekends. The mother-in-law helps take care of the children, or a two-hour movie date for the two of them, trying to add a little flavor to the married life. I also began to learn to let go slowly, from the two or three hours of cutting my hair, to allow my husband and children to have complete alone time, and allow myself to have a little time to breathe. It must be said that men really need time to practice sometimes, and then give more applause and encouragement when practicing~~ The energy flow between people is mutual, when we are willing to see each other's good, when we When we are willing to give love, love will naturally return to us. The same is true of the most intimate marriage relationship. No matter how busy or tired, a hug and kiss is enough. Let love surround us again. If you have anything to say, you can also complain in the comment area~
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