Why are parents anxious and children anxious too? The "reference effect" may give you the answer

time:2022-12-02 12:13:26source:monlittlebaby.com author:Fever
Why are parents anxious and children anxious too? The "reference effect" may give you the answer

Text丨Mother Luo Yun (the original article, the copyright belongs to me, mothers are welcome to forward and share)
In fact, most of the children's anxiety comes from the influence of their parents. As a parent, you should control your emotions, because your emotions and behavior will directly affect your children, which is actually related to the reference effect.

What is a "reference effect"?

In life, children are inseparable from their dependence on their parents, so when children are more sensitive to their own information, if they are asked about their parents, they will also show great concern. Because the relationship between parents and children is inseparable, and everything that everyone connects with in life is closely related, this is the "reference effect". This means that when parents have bad emotions, they are invisibly affecting their children.

4 common manifestations of excessive anxiety in children, parents should not take it seriously

1. Always ask parents to guarantee what to do Confidence, they cannot build trust in people and can only always keep their parents promises what to do. Go and set some rules in life, get back your trust in your parents, and hope that in such a way, your parents can provide enough protection for you. 2. Undoubtedly revealing the uneasy emotions of children's excessive anxiety, in fact, it is also reflecting their lack of security, often worrying about small things, worrying that their parents will not love them, or will leave them. In addition, there are often negative emotions in learning, thinking that they are not suitable for learning, their learning ability is relatively poor, and their ability is insufficient compared with other children. In fact, it is a manifestation of excessive anxiety. 3. Children who are completely unsuitable for group life are full of anxiety. They only like to get along with one person. When they are alone, they will appear more comfortable. Once they need to participate in group life, their anxiety symptoms will be more obvious. They will behave differently from normal people, appearing unusually restrained and nervous, and they don't even know what to do to ease their anxiety, and they can't control their words and actions. 4. Children's small movements in ordinary times Many parents should find that their children have a lot of small movements in normal times, and they can't concentrate at all. In fact, they are just expressing their anxiety. Especially with overly anxious children, their minds are more scattered and unable to focus on one thing until the end. In fact, small movements are also a way for children to relieve anxiety, because they do not know how to express their anxiety, and can only express it through other expressions.

What harm might an "anxious" parent do to a child?

1. Children are under great psychological pressure. If parents are always too anxious to get along with their children, it will make the children feel a sense of depression. They will feel a lot of psychological pressure and do not know how to get along with their parents. Parents should maintain a lot of trust and support for their children and let them grow up in a good environment. Sometimes parents hurt others because they are too anxious. Such behavior will cause the child's psychological burden to be too heavy, those negative emotions will continue to multiply, and rebellious psychology and behavior will also appear. 2. The child's mentality is not correct Although parents think that their anxiety is just too concerned about their children, which is also a manifestation of their love for their children, but parents do not know that such a mentality will produce a negative energy in their children. This kind of negative emotion will make the child become suspicious and sensitive, the mentality can not be correct, and the temper will always be suddenly violent. In such negative emotions, it is difficult for children to withdraw to the positive side. 3. The child becomes too low self-esteem The parent's anxiety, in fact, inexplicably has a negative psychological suggestion to the child, making the child feel inferior, as if the parent is so anxious and has no confidence in himself because of his lack of ability. The child will gradually become unmotivated to do anything, just avoid it or not do it at all.

What should parents do with their children?

1. Constantly improve yourself While growing and educating children, parents will teach their children the skills they should have, but they should not forget to improve their abilities and broaden their horizons at all times. If parents keep stopping the pace of progress, they cannot keep up with the rhythm of the times, and they may sometimes keep an outdated set of ideas in educating their children, which may not be acceptable to children. Therefore, on the road of education, parents should also keep pace with the times, so that while making their children better, they should not forget to help themselves become better. 2. Do not hinder the development of children As parents, they should not hinder the development of children, and should give children sufficient space to realize themselves. Only when the child's nature is released, the child's potential will be stimulated. Parents can usually find their own fun, realize what they like to do, spend more time on themselves, and achieve a psychological balance. 3. Parents who do not do long-windedness Some parents like to repeat the truth, which not only makes the children tired, but also causes troubles in their own lives, which makes the parents become "talkatives". In fact, many truths are enough to tell the child once, and the child will remember it in their hearts. The continuous circulation will make the child's memory fade, and it will not be of much significance to education.
Parenting problems taught by Luo Yun's mother, family education must be learned well, and the child is healthy and healthy, I am @ Luo Yun Mummy, to help you solve the little troubles of parenting (all pictures are from the Internet, invaded and deleted)
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