Psychological characteristics of adolescent children

time:2023-02-03 author:Maternal-Child Nursing
Psychological characteristics of adolescent children

Children at each stage have different characteristics, just like I shared my daughter just now, she was like an angel before junior high school, but after the second year of junior high school, the "devil" came out, she has some behaviors and ways of speaking, not like It was so cute. Many parents may be troubled by this. Why is this so?
  • The stage from 0 to 7 years old is called the parasitic period
which means that a person has just come to the world and cannot live by himself, so he has to parasitize his parents. So at this stage, the child has no ego at all. Whatever the parents say, he will submissively think that the parents are right, because the parents are everything to him.
  • 7~12 years old, the dependency period
was originally 7~14 years old, but now the children will mature earlier. At this stage, the child begins to develop himself and becomes a little assertive, but he is still unable to live independently, so he will still be dependent on his parents. On the one hand, he will depend on and obey his parents, but on the other hand he begins to have his own independent personality and opinions.
  • 14 years old to 21 years old, rebellious period
From my observation, it should be from 12 years old to 21 years old. Children at this stage have a The characteristic is "rebellious". This is from our parent's point of view, from the child's point of view, he does not think he is rebellious, he is just showing that he has grown up: I am already an independent person, I have my personality , I have my options. Therefore, parents should adapt to the characteristics of this stage. I often hear parents ask me: My child is rebellious. I let him go east, but he goes west, which is really annoying. I just said to such a parent: It's not easy to handle. When you want him to go east, you let him go west, so he will go east, right? This is of course a joke, but this joke contains very important wisdom. I have shared a story of a master: There is a psychologist named Milton in the United States, who is a master of hypnotism. He grew up on a farm. One day his father was dragging a cow. This cow has a cow temper. Can't pull away, Dad asked Milton to come and help. But Milton didn't do what his father said. He didn't go to pull the rope, but ran behind the cow and pulled the cow's tail. As soon as the cow was pulled by Milton's tail, it confronted Milton, so it naturally moved forward. . We must master this characteristic of adolescent children: follow the trend and do not oppose him. If you go against an adolescent child, you will definitely be heartbroken, because he doesn't mean to get along with you, he just shows: I have a personality and a position. If I listen to you in everything, I will be more fell shame. So we must follow the trend, achieve him, let him show himself, highlight his personality, and respect his choice. Of course, without breaking the law. When a child can be respected, there is no need for him to deliberately rebel against you. If a child is against you everywhere, it can only show that in your past relationship with the child, you did not respect his choice, especially after puberty, so he needs to show his importance, that's all. Frozen three feet, not a day's cold. Today, if your child has a lot of rebellion or a lot of deviant behavior, don't ask how to solve it, I can only tell you a rule. To grow up, a person needs to supplement a variety of nutrients, such as vitamins, proteins, sugars, starches and so on. In order to grow up, in addition to obtaining material nutrition, in fact, people's personality and spirit must also grow up, and psychological growth, which requires a kind of nutrition, called psychological nutrition. Psychological nutrition is also the food of a person's spirit, which means that the child needs to be recognized, affirmed, praised, appreciated and encouraged. If a child can get the constant recognition, encouragement, care and acceptance of his parents, his mental nutrition will be enough, and his mentality will develop healthily. However, if a child is growing up and his parents do not give him psychological nourishment, always criticize and criticize him, and constantly deny him, the child will be hungry. Like physical hunger, all his attention was on finding food. The "psychologically hungry" child will also look for "food", and he will focus on how I get attention from others. In fact, scolding is also a way to get attention. If parents can pay attention to him, it will supplement his psychological nutrition. Looking back, the first one is to follow the trend; the second one, if your child has various problems, as long as you find a direction, it must be that his psychological nutrition is not enough, so you can make up for it. Give him back some of the affirmation, recognition, appreciation, encouragement, praise, praise, acceptance, love, companionship, etc. that you originally owed him. Your affirmation, your praise, and your praise are related to the formation of the child's self-worth, that is to say, the formation of his life script, how he identifies with himself, and what kind of person he thinks he is, all depends on your psychology Nutrition. If this is done, your child will have nothing to worry about in the future, and he will surely become an accomplished and happy person. The third thing I want to share with you is to deal with the second of the two key points I mentioned earlier, which is the way of thinking of children. How can we raise a child with an open mind? Just try not to give the child an answer as much as possible. When your child interacts with you, because the adolescent child must have a personality, when he asks you any question, try not to answer him, but instead ask him what he thinks, he must have his answer. When the child has an answer, even if the answer is wrong, don't deny him, but give him an affirmation, and then ask: What else? If he has two answers, ask a third question: what else is there in addition to these two answers? When he says there is no more, don't let him go, then ask the fourth question: If there is any, what is it? When you keep asking him with these 4 sentences, your child's brain will keep opening, which is called potential development question in psychology. These 4 sentences are enough to open the child's mind, so try not to give the child an answer, because even if your answer is right, there is only one answer in his life, and this answer will limit his life. If you want a child to have a bigger and broader world in the future, he is better than the blue. You must not force him to accept what you think is right, but respect his ideas and broaden his thinking, and he will definitely become a constant innovative people. If you have a good script, an open mind dimension, what are you worried about? Temporary grades that are not good enough will not affect your child's future. If the grades are good enough, but his thinking is narrow and his self-worth is low, such a child must have a miserable future.
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