There are some kinds of mothers who do the most but fail the most, and the whole family hates them instead of distressed

time:2022-12-02 04:55:47source:monlittlebaby.com author:Make one's mouth water
There are some kinds of mothers who do the most but fail the most, and the whole family hates them instead of distressed

Text | Cheats We often say, "The more you pay, the greater the gain", but sometimes this is not the case. Sometimes, if you pay a lot, you don't get good results. Not only are the people around you not grateful, but even disgusted. A friend told me that she decided to let her mother-in-law go back to her hometown and resign herself to take care of the baby at home. I knew she had just bought a house and was financially tight, so I asked her why she did it. Let the mother-in-law help take care of the baby, isn't it bad to work and earn money by yourself, and the burden on the family is lighter. She shook her head and said she couldn't stand her mother-in-law. I asked the reason, is it because she doesn't take care of the baby well? Friends said that on the contrary, she took the baby very seriously, to the point of meticulousness. But the bad is bad in a mouth. Her mother-in-law always said, "For the family, I...you are not grateful at all, what a fool." Who wants to be told that? Every time my mother-in-law opens her mouth, the pressure in the house is low. After insisting on it for more than a year, she couldn't stand it, so she just let her mother-in-law go back, so as to save her from always saying that she sacrificed too much. The example of a friend's mother-in-law can actually be a reference for us to be a mother. There are two types of mothers with a heavy sense of sacrifice. There are two types of mothers who are most likely to be thankless and industrious. One is to be diligent and spontaneous. They are motivated by their love for building a small family and their joy in participating in the growth of their children. Housework, babysitting, housekeeping. Another passive and diligent mother takes care of the family out of "responsibility" or the mentality of wanting to be a "good mother". I also do housework, but I am unwilling, so I feel that doing housework is extremely tiring; I also take care of the children, but I feel that I have given up too much for the children, and I always feel that I have sacrificed a lot for the family. A mother with a "sacrifice" will unconsciously put herself in the role of a "victim", and her husband and children are her "perpetrators", because it is they who make themselves work so hard. With these grievances in her heart, Bao Ma, who has a strong sense of sacrifice, will unconsciously complain and complain when she is doing things, complaining about what she has done for her family, complaining that her family does not see it, and does not understand herself. No one wants to feel guilty, so family members who hear these words become immune to them, build defense mechanisms, and either keep their faces blank or avoid them. This is another sign of "unthankful" in Bao Mom's eyes, so she will feel more and more that her efforts are "not worth it", and the sense of sacrifice will become heavier and heavier. My aunt is like that. It was very hard to do work, and her family advised her not to do it or to do it, until she was too tired to stand upright. She never wears the new clothes her daughter buys, but always wears the old ones all year round. Cooking for the whole family, she doesn't eat new meals, she always eats the leftovers from the last meal. The son and daughter-in-law didn't listen to any persuasion at first, but then she had to let her go. A relative came to see her like this and questioned that the whole family was not treating her well, and her words were opened. For this family, what hardships and crimes she suffered, Barabara. When it comes to the emotional part, there are tears in the eyes. The sense of sacrifice is a "knife" that controls oneself and others. Why does this happen? In fact, people with a heavy sense of sacrifice use their own sacrifices to kidnap others in exchange for their guilt. "Look, you owe me, but I don't owe you", this is the subtext in their hearts. There are also many people who use their "sacrifice" in exchange for control over their family members. This situation is most common among older generations. As a generation of young mothers, we can pay for our family, but we must be wary of "sacrifice". If you feel overworked, take the load off yourself. The room doesn't have to be spotless, and you can rest when you are tired; you don't have to stare at your child's study all the time, and the freedom you give him may surprise you. When you break free from the shackles of "perfect mother" and "ideal wife", you will find that not only you feel free, but the rest of the family also feel a lot easier. Senior nursery teacher, psychological counselor. He understands parenting and psychology, and also pays attention to the mother's self-growth and family management, and strives to be a caring person for mothers. Welcome to [Parenting Cheats], you can find the answers here for everything you want to know about parenting care, growth and development, family education, and mental health!
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