Why did you say that your daughter was "losing money" in the old days? All the elders in the family in their seventies and eighties have experienced these things.

time:2023-02-03 03:21:08source:monlittlebaby.com author:Emergency treatment
Why did you say that your daughter was "losing money" in the old days? All the elders in the family in their seventies and eighties have experienced these things.

Text | Cheats In some places where sons are more important than women, we often hear the saying that "daughter is a loser". According to our current understanding, the meaning of "losing money" is probably to raise a daughter to such an age that it is very easy to become an adult. As soon as you get married, you go to her in-law's house and live in her in-law's house for the rest of her life, giving birth to children, taking care of her in-laws, and her parents' father. Mom can no longer count on it, so she "loses money". But I found that this understanding was far from the truth of the old days. In the old days, daughters literally "lost money". At that time, there was a saying, "Whoever has a daughter, pouted for three days in the cesspool", which shows that everyone despised her daughter. This contempt came from the marriage customs of the time. Grandma Jiang Shumei, who is good at writing about the life experiences of the older generation, mentioned in her book the situation of a girl getting married. When the daughter is raised and can work, the family will find her in-law's home. And there were no dowry gifts that were fashionable at the time. Whether it was a poor family or a rich family, they had to accompany their daughters when they married. There are fewer things to accompany her parents, and her daughter can't lift her head when she is married to her in-laws, and her in-laws will be angry. After three days of marriage, when the new daughter-in-law wants to go home, her husband's family will give you a basket containing needles and threads, thimbles, cloth heads, and a book containing shoes and hats. These shoes and hats come from in-laws, husbands, uncles and sisters-in-law. The new daughter-in-law has to live in her mother's house for a month, and she will make all the shoes and hats of her husband's family. If the new daughter-in-law is skillful, she can make it in a month in a hurry. As the so-called "Laba girls don't hang, they have to catch a half-la-mother". On the second day of the lunar new year, the first year of marriage, the niece and son-in-law return to their parents' home and need to catch a car. The in-law's family brought a large basket of gifts, which looked a lot, but the mother's family couldn't keep them, so they could only take out two things and put them in. Some parents are afraid that their daughter will be angry when they go back, and they will change a few more items, which will appear more when they are brought back to their in-laws. When the daughter gave birth, the husband's family asked someone to pick two empty boxes to announce the good news. The boy would put a book in the box and the girl would put a flower. The mother's family has to "lose money" and fill the empty box. If things are too small or they think things are worthless, the in-laws will complain again. A family's daughter gave birth to a baby, and her parents gave 2 pounds of brown sugar, 2 pounds of rice, and 99 eggs. The husband's family still thought it was too few, and he elongated his face and made irresponsible remarks. You must know that at that time, those who could produce these things were already middle peasants. How could ordinary people produce so many eggs? After nine days after giving birth, the family will "send Chinese rice". No matter how many things the wife's family brings, her husband's family will not accompany them. Because there was a saying in the old days that "children with the bottom of the basket up are easy to feed". With this saying, how could the mother's family dare to let the in-law's family return the gift? Wouldn't that curse his grandson and granddaughter? Therefore, the mother's family will fill this basket with various things, such as brown sugar, dried noodles, eggs, white noodles, etc. that the mother needs, as well as various small clothes for children, cotton jackets, cotton pants, and covers Big quilt, small quilt, small quilt, etc. In this way, the poor family married a daughter, and the vitality was greatly damaged. If there are several daughters in the family, and they are all close to each other in age, and get married in a few years, the family can really not afford it. Complaining about "losing money" is because according to the custom at the time, marrying a daughter will really lose money! In the final analysis, it is due to the ethos of "preference to women". The status of a girl married to her husband's family is highlighted and supported by the things sent by her mother's family. Fortunately, modern women can gain economic independence through work, thereby driving personal independence. Gone is the oppression of women in the old society. If you ask the elders in their 70s and 80s, especially the female elders, about these things, they will definitely feel deeply. Senior nursery teacher, psychological counselor. He understands parenting and psychology, and also pays attention to the mother's self-growth and family management, and strives to be a caring person for mothers. Welcome to [Parenting Cheats], you can find the answers here for everything you want to know about parenting care, growth and development, family education, and mental health!
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