"A dutiful son emerges from the stick"? Blindly "playing" may not be able to cultivate excellent children

time:2023-02-03 10:42:03source:monlittlebaby.com author:Baby bones
"A dutiful son emerges from the stick"? Blindly "playing" may not be able to cultivate excellent children

"I'm sorry, Mom, I was wrong, I didn't mean to." Seeing his son apologize again, his sincere look is distressing. But since he was a child, he has made mistakes countless times. Whenever he makes a mistake, he will beg for forgiveness pitifully, and sometimes he will take the initiative to kiss me, but I have no better way. As the saying goes, "a filial son emerges from the stick", but it may not be applicable to the present. Blindly beating, or accusing and insulting, may result in irreparable consequences.

From childhood to adulthood, there is no one to accompany when I am old

Xiao Liang and Xiao Peng are neighbors and classmates. grow up. The external living environment as a child can be said to be exactly the same, but the family situation is very different. Xiaopeng's parents are both leaders of the company. Since childhood, they have attached great importance to Xiaopeng's education. Whether it is learning or other aspects, they will take great care to teach him. Even if the husband and wife have differences in the way of education, there is a consensus that they must never do anything, and they will only preach patiently in everything. And Xiaoliang has been beaten since childhood. As long as Xiaoliang made mistakes when he was a child, he would definitely be beaten and kicked, and he would be scolded for not being able to live up to his expectations. For example: bad exams, prank accusations, as long as it hurts the parents' face, or makes the parents feel embarrassed, they must be corrected until they are corrected. After a long time, Xiaoliang has formed two personalities at home and at school. When he returns home, he will not tell his parents about anything. Later, Xiaoliang and Xiaopeng were both successfully admitted to the university. Xiaoliang's parents also organized a banquet for him to announce the good news to his relatives. He happily said: "Listen to the words of the ancestors, it is true that a dutiful son will emerge from the stick, hahaha..." After graduating from college, the children began to become independent on their own. As everyone knows, this is the time when parents' education from childhood to adulthood is truly reflected. After work, Xiaopeng always shares his life with his parents from time to time. Everyone is happy with joyful things. He also seeks help and advice from his parents when he encounters difficulties in his career and life. As for Xiaoliang, since he entered college and left his parents' discipline, he began to act recklessly, skipping classes and playing games every day, almost not graduating. After entering the society, he is even more rebellious. Anyway, if he can support himself, other parents can't control it, and he rarely goes back home. In the neighborhood, he can only hear Xiaoliang's parents chatting comfortingly: "The child is busy, the child is busy. Busy..." The stick can't beat the filial son, but it can beat the children away, and there is no one to accompany him when he grows old.

Family cold violence

is the opposite of the punches and kicks mentioned above. Compared with direct violence, what may be more harmful is coldness. Violent. Cold violence refers to directly ignoring the existence of the child, completely disregarding the child's feelings, the child seems to be on an isolated island and is helplessly abandoned spiritually. Xinxin burst into tears because she accidentally bumped into the corner of the wall, but at this time, her mother gave her a cold look, implying that she "don't cry". Xinxin looked at her mother's eyes, the cry gradually diminished, and the tears stopped in her eyes. The child is quiet, and the mother is satisfied. This is naked cold violence, and such cold violence can destroy a child. If the teacher never pays attention to a child, the child raises his hand and pretends not to see it. It won't take long for the child to become unwilling to raise his hand again, become unconfident and submissive. At home, because of the indifference of the parents, the child is afraid of being saddened and scolded by adults when he looks angry, and gradually learns to feel wronged. Outsiders seem to be very sensible and well-behaved. Such children, who have suffered from cold violence since childhood, do not know how to fight for themselves, so their character will become withdrawn and inferior. When she grows up, she will not speak up when she encounters domestic violence, and endure it silently. At work, she is more likely to become a "good man" who is hard-working and has few opportunities for promotion. Some of the effects of the family of origin on children may appear immediately, while others may appear 10, 20 or even longer. There are some mistakes in educating children, which may be corrected immediately, and the above two steps, once parents make mistakes, may cause harm to their children for a lifetime. Do not use domestic violence and cold violence.
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