Children do things with ink and do homework slowly, all of which are "prompted" by parents

time:2022-12-05 06:58:33source:monlittlebaby.com author:Sneeze
Children do things with ink and do homework slowly, all of which are "prompted" by parents

A mother stood at the school gate, looked at her child's back, and yelled at her child: she had no self-consciousness at all, she was slow to do homework, she had to rush to school, what to do when she grew up... This mother is known to many parents, she 's child is nicknamed "Tail" in the class because he is slow in everything, whether it is handing in homework or queuing for exercises, he is always the last to appear. I don't know which naughty student said to him: "You are the tail of the class." Since then, the nickname "tail" has been called. His mother knew exactly what happened to her child at school, but she couldn't help it. She was very aggrieved and said to the teacher and other parents: "God sent him to make things difficult for me. It's not that I didn't educate him, but I kept reminding him and urging him since he was a child. It doesn't move anymore. This child's nature is like this, I really don't know how it has such a mutation..." The child's mother is a fiery person, speaking fast and acting fast. His father was also decisive and capable. The arrival of the child has caused this originally efficient family to have frequent scenes of "chicken flying and dog jumping". As soon as the child was able to eat independently, the mother looked impatient and scolded him: "After eating a few mouthfuls for so long, the surrounding area is full of rice grains, hurry up..." Impatiently, she grabbed the spoon and slammed it twice. The rice is fed to the son's mouth. When my son was going to kindergarten, he couldn't get out of bed. His mother was in a hurry, so she pulled him up and dressed him with three strokes and five quick movements. Then, he urged his son to finish brushing his teeth, washing his face, eating, etc. When the son came home from school, his mother urged him to do his homework. The son's homework is slow, and the mother keeps urging. The son takes a bath, sleeps, etc., and the mother cannot help urging him. Urged the main theme of their home. The mother vented this to other parents, and she felt very aggrieved: how did she give birth to such a son... She didn't know that every child's shortcomings have their parents' reasons. She doesn't even understand that frequent urging is the biggest contusion to the child's internal drive. "Internal drive" is a driving force for behavior and thought. The inner drive of a child is actually a kind of positivity within the child, which originates from the child's psychology and expectations. When parents keep urging the child, the child's psychology will be greatly affected, the child will have emotions, will feel powerless, become passive and bewildered. All the actions of the child are pushed by the external pressure of the parents, just like a puppet, the parents push it a little, without their own thoughts and expectations at all. To motivate children to think and act, it is necessary to satisfy three internal needs of children, that is, to give children a sense of pleasure, autonomy and achievement. It is the joy of the child. Children have their own rhythm. Maybe such a rhythm is not conducive to children's study and life, but the urging of parents only exerts external pressure on children. Children are forced to change the rhythm under pressure. Once there is no pressure, the rhythm goes back to the way it was before. Urging can be said to be the most stupid and ineffective way, and parents should fully consider various ways to protect their children's happiness. For example, say to your child, "Let's have a game." For example, suggest and motivate the child, saying to the child: "I believe that you have finished before the specified time." Or use the fierce battle method and say to the child: "I don't believe you can do it well, try it if you don't believe it." Let the child have a desire to challenge the things they face. In order to change the child's procrastination in homework, a parent accompanies the child to write the same homework every time, and then uses his own speed to influence the child's speed. The parent does not urge the child, but reminds the child where to write, and controls his own rhythm so that the child can keep up and encourage him in time. Parents don't scold or urge children's lazy behavior that they don't like to study. They pick up a book and say to their children, "Let's study together, you accompany me, and I will accompany you." While keeping the children happy, let Children gradually form good habits, and it is not a problem for parents to withdraw at this time. It is the child's sense of autonomy. Urging is undoubtedly to make the child obey and execute, and the child's self-awareness will naturally be frustrated in the process of action. It can be said that the child is reluctant and helpless. If the child is always urged and scolded by the parents in the process of growth, the inner drive of the child will inevitably become lower and lower. A little girl with excellent grades in the first and second grades of primary school. Since she was promoted to the third grade, on the one hand, her homework has increased. On the other hand, her parents thought that she was in the third grade and should increase her extracurricular reading, so she made better use of her time. keep urging. After dinner, she just wanted to take a break and watch the TV show of Xiaohui. Her mother urged her: "Don't hurry up and do your homework." After finishing her homework, she was just about to listen to a few songs when her mother urged her: "Go and read the book." She began to be reluctant to obey, but soon resisted with action. I procrastinate in my homework, I am absent-minded when I read a book, my eyes are on the book, but my brain is outside the sky. If her parents were away from home, she would watch TV, do not write homework, let alone read extracurricular books. Her grades dropped significantly. The mother is very angry: How can a good child become so unwilling to study, so unconscious? Furthermore, it is the child's sense of achievement. To urge the child is to be dissatisfied with the child, to deny the child. When the child completes one thing or achieves a little achievement, the child will have a sense of accomplishment only after the child has put in his own efforts. If the child is not recognized by the parents before reaching the goal, then the child with the best grades may not be moved. There are many students with good academic performance, but they have no interest in learning. These students are basically "stared" at their studies by their parents. They only study to cope with their parents and have little sense of their academic performance. To give children a sense of achievement, parents should not simply urge, but set goals for their children. The goals you set are achievable with your child's efforts, and range from low to high, from easy to difficult. If the child fails to achieve results due to the problem of self-control, parents should not use urging to solve it, but use the subordinate internal drive to encourage the child to gain recognition and arouse the child's inner motivation. When a father finds that his children have no interest in learning, he takes his children to be with excellent children who love to learn, but never compares his own children with excellent children, but allows them to be free to be together. When the child is slightly influenced by the other party, the father immediately gives the child a thumbs up, slowly arousing the child's learning ability and making the child fall in love with learning. In fact, sometimes we pay attention to the inner guidance of the child. As long as the inner drive is not destroyed, the child's learning motivation is mostly no problem. As a parent, we must know that the lack of internal drive in the child is not the child's problem. We must know how to reflect on ourselves and start by changing ourselves. Author: A working mother of two children who waits for the wind to come. She holds a pen in her left hand and her baby in the right. She likes to read, write, and draw. She firmly believes that even if life is a piece of chicken feathers, she still has her own longing poems and distances in her heart. Follow me and continue to give you Provide more parenting dry goods. (The picture comes from the Internet, if there is any infringement, please contact to delete it)
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