What are the consequences of berating or scolding a child?

time:2022-09-27 05:09:00source:monlittlebaby.com author:Fever
I.1.9 What are the consequences of berating or scolding a child?

From the child's first rebellious period, there are not a few parents who use high-pressure coercion to make their children "obedient", and these parents will gradually develop high-pressure coercion into a customary method for dealing with parent-child problems. As the saying goes, "If you don't fight, you won't be a good candidate." It has also become a golden rule for many parents. To this day, there are still reports on the Internet that parents are still fighting their children in their early twenties. However, with the development of social civilization, the reality is that fewer and fewer parents use violent means to solve problems between parents and children. It can be seen that it is an inevitable trend to use means other than high pressure and coercion to solve problems between parents and children. The reason is that scolding and beating children will bring many adverse consequences. The so-called "immediate" and immediate benefits are often replaced by the negative consequences that follow. In the long run, it is easy to lead to the following outcomes that are difficult to reverse. The first and most likely consequence is the alienation of the parent-child relationship. After being attacked, it is a reasonable response for a normal person to resent, resist or even fight back against the attacker. Children are forced to submit under the pressure of the disparity in strength and the traditional ethics of filial piety. They can only satisfy their parents’ temporary satisfaction without solving the fundamental problem. . Unreasonable blind obedience will not bring benefits to the normal growth of children, and the long-term accumulation of disgust and resistance will definitely affect the trust and intimacy between parents and children. Therefore, parents' expectations of simple and crude solutions to problems are likely to backfire, resulting in irreparable long-term parent-child rifts. Secondly, although scolding, beating and scolding may give children an unforgettable lesson, parents may be able to "get it quickly" by exerting high-pressure coercion, but the chances of children "re-offending" are not low, and they may even do it behind their back, causing "infinite troubles", and the parents will end up in the end. It's not uncommon to be half dead. Moreover, psychological research has also found that most children who are often violently treated since childhood mistakenly believe that violence is an effective way to solve problems, which not only reduces the need for children to develop other intelligence, but also may become accustomed to using violent means to solve problems when they grow up. , the conclusion is that scolding, beating and scolding is not conducive to the normal growth and development of children. It is especially emphasized that because the child's surrender is not based on the basis of understanding, it is easy to block the channel of parent-child communication, and it closes the need for parent-child communication and the possibility of positive interaction. When they are unable to communicate in adolescence when they need parental support very much, children are easily led astray by a single thought, and even lead to tragedy. After we learned these details from expert lectures and books, we made up our minds when our son was born: we would never scold or scold our son. Obviously, the good parent-child relationship makes the son who is still in the school so proactively celebrate our birthday. Few children can do this, right? But to be honest, the process of waiting for and accompanying the growth of children requires immeasurable time and patience, as well as a tolerant attitude. Without these psychological preparations, it would be really difficult for parents. Therefore, I quite understand the various worries and impatience of parents when they are in a difficult situation, and they do need some small skills when facing the real situation of parent-child relationship. (Hint: Follow this account to get professional and practical parenting knowledge and experience)
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