Adolescent children are more and more fond of talking back. Are they afraid to teach or teach skillfully?

time:2023-02-02 author:Cry
Adolescent children are more and more fond of talking back. Are they afraid to teach or teach skillfully?

St. Tybouf said, "If you are too indulgent in youth, you will lose the nourishment of your soul, and if you are too restrained, your brain will become dead." When children enter puberty, they will experience a "tear" when they become parents Do you know how you feel? If you talk too much, the child will be annoying, if you talk too much, you will not be used to it. Take Dabao and Erbao to Lin E's house to play. Her daughter is on summer vacation and has a lot of homework in the first year of high school, but the children usually either watch TV or play with their mobile phones. We chatted together, Lin E's daughter Min Min was watching TV, laughing and chanting. Lin E wanted to say something, but closed her mouth again and sighed. At this time, Lin E's husband came out. Seeing that Min Min had been watching TV, he began to scold: "School is about to start, you don't read books, have you finished your homework?" He said, "Got it, got it." Without turning his eyes, he was still sitting on the sofa, watching TV intently. After a while, Lin E couldn't watch it anymore, so she couldn't help but say, "Min Min, stop watching TV, go do your homework for a while!" The daughter said impatiently, "Why don't you just watch TV for a while? Naturally, I will do my homework, don't disturb me!" Lin E was very angry: "I don't know how many days before the school starts? Have you finished your summer homework? How many pages did you read during the vacation? You know how to watch TV, watch TV every day, and you take the exam Can you do it?" Min Min was not to be outdone: "I usually don't let you watch TV after school, but now it's a holiday, what's wrong with watching it for a while? You can't watch TV or play with your mobile phone, so you know that I'm learning, and I'm a tool for learning. Are you? It's annoying!" He dropped the remote control, turned his face away, ignored his mother, and didn't plan to do his homework. Lin E's anger suddenly came up, grabbed the remote control in her daughter's hand, turned off the TV, and shouted at Min Min, "If you weren't my daughter, I wouldn't care about you, wouldn't it be for your own good? You? You are a student, and your task now is to study. For a child as old as you, who doesn’t listen to your parents? You’re really going against the sky!” Hearing this, Min Min shouted, “You can ignore me and whoever is. I beg you, do you have to take care of me?" After speaking, he went to the bedroom, closed the door, and never came out again. Lin E and her husband were both very angry and muttered: "This is going crazy, how can there be such a child, so rebellious, it's really hopeless!" Lin E said that after her daughter entered puberty, she never dared to be too much Yan, it's really because of homework recently, I can't help it. Why are adolescent children so difficult to manage? As I spoke, tears fell, which made me at a loss. Looking at the chaotic scene and the two cubs around me, I comforted Lin E a few words and hurriedly took the cubs home. Such a "battlefield" is really not suitable to stay for a long time. On the way home, I was also thinking, how should parents discipline children who have entered adolescence, whether they are trembling, or they are angry when they encounter things, or do they teach them skillfully?

Adolescence is fear or anger?

Physician Hu, director of the Department of Psychiatry of the First Affiliated Hospital of Nanchang University, believes that after children enter puberty, their autonomy becomes stronger and they are unwilling to be interfered by their parents, which can easily cause friction with their parents. At this time, parents should pay attention to changing the way of education, listen more to the voice of the child, think in a different position, understand and be considerate of the child, be the child's friend, and try not to scold the child. I have read a lot of parenting books for adolescence, including the cases of exposure to adolescent children, and the most common problem is "communication". The wrong way of communication between parents and adolescent children, or they are trembling, or angry, can not solve the actual problem, but make the parent-child relationship worse and worse. Just like the situation in Lin E's family, at first, she was trembling, but she couldn't listen to a word from her daughter, and then she became furious, and in exchange, she was arrogant. I think you, who have adolescent children at home, should be able to feel the same way. Who has experienced it knows! I once received messages from adolescent parents in the background, and everyone said that they were really helpless in the face of adolescent "rebellious teenagers"! And what I want to say is, think about your communication style, are the words you said originally intended for the better development of the child, but because of the wrong way of expression, the words you said suddenly changed their taste? Just like Lin E, she clearly just wanted her child to put down the TV and do homework, but she said, "Watching TV every day, will you be able to pass the exam?" Hearing this, everyone wants to go back. When there are words of accusation and criticism, the brain will automatically make defenses, and then say words of protection, or make escape behaviors, which is normal,

Adolescent children should be taught skillfully.

The book "Decoding Adolescence" states: "Parents can only gain their children's sincerity by letting their children feel their sincerity." Yes, every parent will say that they It's really good for the children, but they are too ignorant. In fact, whether the sincerity expressed by the parents is received by the child is the key. If your sincerity is nagging in the eyes of the child, the more sincerity you have, the more rebellious the child will be. Who would want their own life to be nagged all the time? I recommend Lin E to read the book "Decoding Adolescence", hoping that she will find the key to communicate with her children and stop being so "tit for tat". Two weeks later, Lin E told me that her daughter was willing to listen to her, and she had finished her summer homework. Now that her daughter is watching TV, she will not obstruct it at will, but will only remind her appropriately. This book has greatly eased the parent-child relationship between her and her daughter. I was also very happy to hear it. The authors of "Decoding Adolescence" believe that there are three key thinking patterns in teenage children. The second is to tell parents that "the rules of the game have changed, so you have to change". Just like Lin E at the beginning, still using the old way to communicate with her daughter is obviously not effective. The puberty of most children begins at the age of 11, and by the age of 18, the author divides the growth of this part of the children into 6 stages and gives a detailed explanation. It was only after reading this part that Lin E realized how wrong she was before. The daughter is in the fourth stage. At this time, the child is rebellious, adventurous, and has the courage to try. At this time, what parents need to do is to help their children establish correct values, and at the same time understand the physical, psychological, interpersonal, and emotional changes of children at this stage, so as to master the "golden key" to communicate with adolescent children. Conclusion: The rebelliousness of adolescent children is actually only because their development is different from that of their parents' videography. When you reach adolescence, you must master the "key" to communicate with your children, rather than accusing them of anger. Give your child the love he needs, and you can get a "win-win". (The picture in this article comes from the Internet, if there is any infringement, please contact to delete it)
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