Excessive protection is a stumbling block for children's growth. Smart parents should learn to be "selfish" and let go properly

time:2023-02-07 09:45:56source:monlittlebaby.com author:Baby bones
Excessive protection is a stumbling block for children's growth. Smart parents should learn to be "selfish" and let go properly

Introduction: Many families regard children as their focus. Parents and elders of the next generation revolve around one or two children. Everything is arranged for them, and they are always vigilant to avoid harm to their children. All the activities were arranged in the parents' "list" style. Even the parents who were carrying schoolbags during school were worried and tired, so they reached out to help him. Because of over-emphasis on over-protection, children's survival skills are reduced. Once they have to live independently, they have no basic self-care ability, and there is no chance to make up for it. A movie called "Black Mirror" tells the story of a girl named Sara. When Sara was three years old, Sara was accidentally lost once. In order to avoid such an incident from happening again, her mother put it in Sara's mind. A chip that can be positioned to shield against a variety of hazards. Sara's brain will be shielded when encountering dangerous pictures. Under the excessive protection of her mother, Sara lives in a world without any danger and harm. At puberty, this magical chip lost its power, and serious consequences came. Because she had never experienced or seen anything bad, Sara had no idea how to protect herself. She doesn't know that drugs are harmful, she doesn't know the boundaries with men, she doesn't know how to express her emotions, and she doesn't know how to be sad even if the person closest to her dies. This kind of life made Sara very painful. She even started to self-harm. The mother found out that her daughter was abnormal, but it was too late to make up for it. Although the movie is exaggerated, it is also a portrayal of reality. Many parents use the most perfect way to protect their children well. The temporary sense of security has also ruined their lives.

You are overprotective in childhood and will suffer more in the future

Some loving parents think it is love, but in fact it is not true love, but The thought of "being good for the child" controls the child. This kind of overprotection is a stumbling block for children's growth. Overprotection is a misinterpretation of love by parents, and damage will come sooner or later. From the parents' point of view, the child needs protection because he is afraid of danger and is reluctant to let him participate in any labor, or to let him do things that could be done independently. Provide them with the safest and most comfortable living environment, no harm, no chance to learn self-protection, no chance to learn how to be self-reliant, and lost the opportunity to practice. The protection that parents think is actually a restriction and restraint on their children. Compared with their peers, children who are overprotected are much different in behavior, cognition and life experience. Poor self-care ability and poor social skills, because of inexperience and inexperience in encountering things, they are at a loss without the protection of their parents. When you grow up, it is like living in your own world. It seems that you are indifferent to the world, but in fact it is a lack of survival ability.

The best protection is to return freedom to children

Psychologist Wu Zhihong once said that parents require children to obey everything and follow their parents’ arrangements and ideas Execution, it is aggression and even destruction of the child, creativity comes from self-selection. Self-selection indicates growth, and it also means "separation" from parents. Parents overprotect their children, which is a wishful effort, and growth requires parents' efforts and more children's efforts. Wise parents must learn to be "selfish", let go properly, and return freedom to their children is the best protection for him, which is to help the child grow and achieve him. 1. Coddling is hurt. Parents who learn to be "lazy" should cultivate "do their own things and solve their own problems by themselves" from childhood. When children reach a certain age, they already have certain skills, and they must pass them on to do what they can do. It's a responsibility and it should be done. Parents learn to be "lazy", guide their children to do more, and gradually make them less dependent. Once a 14-year-old girl went to study abroad, packed her luggage, and took a plane alone after a 27-hour flight to the destination airport and was detained because children under the age of 15 cannot travel alone. The girl did not panic or cry, nor did she ask for help from her parents far away from home. She rationally took out the materials to prove her identity, and explained to the police the reason and purpose of coming here alone. The police were convinced by the calm and calm handling of the little girl. Parents should let go properly and exercise their children from small things, so that they can gradually master basic life skills and have a stronger ability to survive. 2. Encourage children to try boldly. Parents are most concerned about their children's health and safety. Instead of worrying about problems, it is better to be prepared to pass on safety awareness, do safety education, and teach children how to protect themselves. Encourage them to try more. Only in the experience can they establish a sense of safety, learn to protect themselves, and know how to deal with danger. 3. Obedience and obedience are not the standard of education. Most parents think that the sign of educational success is that the child is obedient and obeys the wishes of the parents. No matter how young a child has an independent mind, it should be respected, and blindly letting the child obey the parents is control, and the child's own affairs are given the initiative and the right to choose him to be respected and conducive to growth. Psychologist Winnett once proposed that parents with a sense of proportion are good enough parents, and overprotecting their children is the lack of parental sense of proportion. Arranging everything for him and paving the way for him is a "checklist" style. His life is actually the imprisonment of his thoughts and freedom, and the deprivation of his freedom. The educational thought of obedience and obedience is far less meaningful to growth than "seeing and respecting". Seeing children's efforts and respecting children's independence is not only a cultivation of life skills, but also a subtle cultivation of the independence of ideas and opinions. Conclusion: Children will encounter various difficulties when they grow up. If they are well protected since childhood, they are like flowers in a greenhouse. Although they will not be harmed, they lack vitality and will be easily destroyed once they encounter wind and rain. So don't keep children in the safety and comfort zone created by their parents. This seems to be protective, but it is an irresponsible parenting method. The best protection for a child is to let go properly and give him back his freedom. (The picture in this article comes from the Internet, if there is any infringement, please contact to delete it)
Related content